Posts Tagged ‘surprise’

First, the good – great – news.  Alex from Alex Is Wired has woken up!  His brother said he’s awake!  Whoot!  For those that don’t know, I asked for prayers and light for Alex because he didn’t wake up after his surgery in December.  From what Jay says, his brother, he’s awake!  They still have a ways to go, but I’m so so so happy for the family – and for Alex.  He is definately someone I consider to be a friend.  Blog friend though, never met him in real life.  But he’s a great person via blog.    So, there is the GOOD NEWS!  Whooot!

Surprise?  Well, I have just a few minutes on here – I wanted to post to tell you I’m going to be gone today and tomorrow.  Where you ask?  I don’t know!  Here’s the gist -

Hubby says “I have something planned for you.  On Thursday you need to be in your car by 9 AM then call me and I’ll tell you where to drive.  Pack something for overnight – you’ll be back Friday night.”

WOW!

I don’t know where I’m going!  He could be setting me up to get my life insurance money – OR (hee hee) he’s doing something sweet for me.  I have the bestest hubby in the world.  Okay, okay… you say you do (those with hubby folk) – but for me, he’s the best.

So, I have my camera (Tess!) and I’ll take pics unless he’s driving me off a cliff.  Then, well… maybe I can get a few on the way down eh?

Just kidding.

I’m super ooober excited!

I’ll post when I can to let ya know what I’m doin!

Thank you hubby, I love you so much – thanks for loving me.

I’m treating him to a night tonight.

A very well planned out ~ thought out ~ blow your socks off night.

I’ll tell you all (no, not all) about it when I can.

I’ve been planning it since he did a wonderful night for me!

Gotta keep the hubby happy eh?

What’s marriage for anyway ~ fun and surprises!

Have a Great Friday ~ I won’t be back on until at least tomorrow night.

(hee hee)

My hubby and I are having a – um, childless night kinda sorta… thingy.

Okay – you got me I don’t know what we are doin’!

Hubby:  Tomorrow night at 8, I want to do something for you.

Me:  ::blink:: Really?  ::blink::

Hubby:  Yes, so be here at 8.  (here, is the house)

Me:  ::giggles:: Alrighty!

Whoot!

So, with that…. since I have no idea what’s happenin’.  He could be doing wine and cheese, OR finally knockin’ me off and hiding the body.  Dunno.

Have a GREAT weekend!  Looks like mine is starting off smashingly (hopefully not my cranium).

::snickers:: (laugh, not the candy bar)

Today Daniel had a surprise for me.  He and I went to the San Rafael Youth in Arts Italian Street Painting Festival.  It was beyond beautiful today in San Rafael and the art was breathtaking. 

The artists "painted" with chalk.  I’m so amazed at the amount of creativity in one place, and I swear I could have taken a billion more photos.  As it stands, there are over 400 from my day.  I will show some from the Art Festival. 

Amazing.  There are more on my Flickr account.  There are WAY too many right now to upload, but I thought I’d give you an idea. 

Festival Painter

Beautiful Face – Chalk Painted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Lost Love is Still Love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor.

But when those senses weaken, another heightens.

Memory.

Memory becomes your partner. You nuture it. You hold it. You dance with it." - Mitch Alborn, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Many of us have lost someone very near and dear to our hearts. I get to write about one of mine today and the closure that happened that left me shaking, out of breath and emotionally drained.

His name was wasn’t Brent but that’s the one I’ll use. He and I had dated for a few years in my high school days. He was a child of a wealthy happy family, he seemed to have everything. Everything means in this case, things. Physical things. None of us knew he was missing something very important.

The day was beautiful but he had the flu and was home feeling ill when I showed up at his door to spend my lunch hour with him. We were in his room watching my soaps. We talked about going out that night and that when I got off of work he’d be ready to go. To be honest, I thought he was too sick to go out and enjoy himself. I left that up to him.

My lunch hour was almost over and I had to leave to get back to my job at a Freightliner dealership as their receptionist and parts cashier. I gave him a kiss and hustled into my 1980 Ford Pinto ready to burn the pavement to get to work in time.

To my surprise there were two boys at his door ready to knock as I was coming out. They didn’t know him, in fact their were friends of my prior boyfriend. I asked them why they were here, they said they needed a ride. None of that made sense to me, I told them Brent was ill and he certainly wasn’t going to take them anywhere. I let them know they could get a ride from me if they hurried. They hopped in my little car and as I drove off, they told me to let them out, not even a block later. None of that made sense either. But I did, and shrugged it off as some drug that may have made them a little loopie. That’s what that group was known for.

I was speeding by this time, and was pulled over by a motorcycle cop who was angrier than heck by the time he caught me. The speeding ticket would later be my greatest asset for the day as it was time stamped and proved my whereabouts.

I got to work, started answering the 14 line telephone and began to feel a sinking feeling in my stomache. Think what you will, but that’s the truth.

I called Brent and talked to him for a bit, then he said he was not feeling good and had to get off the phone and would call me right back. He didn’t. Instead, that sinking feeling continued until I was in a shear panic. I called his family begging them to drop everything and get to the house. I couldn’t explain, I couldn’t make them listen and I began to make preparations to leave.

Finally someone at the house answered. It was his mother. All I remember of that telephone call was her shrieking voice in the way only a mother could sound in the situation she came home to: "You killed him! You killed my baby boy!".

I suppose it was at that moment I lost whatever bit of reality I had gained in my young life. I slipped into some sort of a different state of being. That took years to get out of.

I raced out of my workplace much against my bosses pleading – "You aren’t okay to drive. I’ll drive you. Stay here." I don’t remember what happened until the next step as I pulled up to his parents house. I had ran from my workplace leaving concerned adults in my path.

I was kept for a good hour by the police who I can tell you didn’t believe anything I had to say until the two important parts – I had gotten a speeding ticket 1/2 hour prior to his death. That along with being at work saved me from who knows what.

I found out that Brent hung himself in the garage. In a way that the police stated he couldn’t have done by himself. I’ll never understand or know what they meant by that.

In the days after I don’t remember much of anything except three things:

1. I remember the newspaper article stating he killed himself because his girlfriend broke up with him;
2. I do remember the kids and many others drivng by my house yelling "Murderer";
3. I remember many people coming to my door demanding his class ring because the casket was going to be sealed and the family wanted it back to bury with him. My only answer as a child in the situation I suppose would answer was: "He gave it to me. I don’t have to give it back until we break up."

This morning my husband’s cleaning allowed me to find the amythist class ring I put away so no one, not even I could find. I knew it belonged with his family, not with me. As a child I had held on to it for dear life, as if letting it go would let him go. Now, as an adult who has come to terms with the events in my life I know – I do not need anything physical to remember him, I have my memories.

I didn’t know where the send the ring. I picked up the phone and called the old number. The father answered and all I could say was my name and that I had Brent’s class ring and it deserved to be with the family. He cried a horrible sounding gut wrenching cry and yelled to his wife to get on the phone. She did. Her words: "How dare you call here!". They calmed down enough to give me the address to send it to and I assured them I would do so immediately. They hung up on me without another word, only the screaching that I remember from the mother that many years ago that has haunted my dreams up until recently.

To lose a child. I cannot imagine the horrific pain.

I didn’t want to cause more pain, but for the last 15 years I’ve been ready to send this to the family but could NOT have handled the phone call I did today.

The ring is on it’s way to their loving hands. I sent it today right after I hung up.

It was a final closure I got to have in my life. I don’t know what it is for them, but I know it will be perfect.

I can tell you… I still cannot breathe, I am still shaking… and I am on the verge of tears. But I am healthy, healed and happy. That has been a lifetime coming.

I remember you dear "Brent". May you play with all the other spirits in the place you now call home.

Forgiveness means a great deal to me.  Something I’ve come to terms with in the last year (yes, it’s taken me that long in my life). 

In my life I’ve had many dealings with people that seemed to be mean to me for no reason.  Then, as I grew older from an elementary school child – I noticed people in general were simply *mean*.  This isn’t the reality of our world, but for a small child, that’s all I saw after being hurt many times.

Entering into my teens I was the one that was the *defender*.  Whenever I saw someone helpless being picked on, or physically hurt – I would defend them without an ounce of thought.  I never held back, and with that much anger and hatred you can imagine the receiver of my *save the world* attitude wasn’t in any good shape after it was done.

To be consistantly angry, and filled with so much hate and unforgiving wrath – it does a number on your spirit.  We weren’t put here on this earth to be filled with so much negative emotions.

After I had my first child, I dowsed the anger part of me.  I controlled it, and sometimes it was very difficult.  But the last thing I wanted my little girl to see was a mother that was anything but loving.

I lost a boyfriend in high school to suicide, so before my daughter was in existance (years later) the amount of hate and anger I had sped quickly to a very harmful level.  To dowse it once I found out I was pregnant was a day to day issue.

(Photo:  1988 Xmas My Grandma Mimi and Me (L-R) gramma wasn’t preggo) 

I would purposely walk outside into the back yard and find 10 new beautiful sights – every day.  Even looking to the old swingset in the backyard (I lived at the house I grew up in – moving in after my pregnancy was known).  I remember for the first time since I was probobly 2 years old actually smiling as I watched a butterfly land and take off.  I remember the feeling, I felt giddy like a little kid.  I didn’t stop smiling all day.

I had to *learn* to bring in light. 

I had to *learn* to get rid of the negative.

I had to *learn* that there are people who are loving and kind.

When my baby girl was born, the doctor held her in front of me and we all waited for her to cry.  She didn’t.  She simply *looked* at me.  I mean really *looked* at me.  After a few moments that seemed like forever, the doctor turned her back around to him to be sure she was okay.  He shrugged, turned her to face me and simply said "Well that’s an old soul".

(Photo:  1989 my baby girl and her horsie and grandma!) 

 

(Photo:  1990 Me and my little girl at the Marina) 

My daughter rarely cried.  She always smiled – always.  She simply was happy and healthy.  I thank goodness that I turned my self around.  The pregnancy was uneventful, and very easy.  I contribute it to me learning how to love – and how to forgive.

(Photo:  5/11/1997 (?) My boys Stephen (L) and Jimmy (R) – first look at those ears!  oh yes, my boys)

In my day to day life now, with a husband who loves me – with 4 children who are happy and healthy and normal – I can say, forgiveness is not just a good feeling.  It and Love are a way of life for me now.

(Photo:  6/4/2005 – He surprised me at my Aunties, driving over 200 miles ’cause he loves me!  (oh I love the smile…) 

(Photo:  7/12/2005 – My stepson and me!  oh my this kid has a smile that would melt ya!)

There’s Good News and News.  I don’t see things as horrible or unrelenting.  That would be an awful place or state to remain. 

(Photo:  4/3/2005 – When we were coming back from Disneyland!  hee hee)

I offer this sharing moment so that it may perhaps assist anyone who is having struggles.  I simply viewed the world, life, and people in the way I chose to view them.  All as bright lights with the potential to forgive and love. 

(Photo:  THESE are my babies (about a year ago) and the fantastic sense of humor we all have… bless all 4)

Love and Light to You,

Monica

Although we’ve been "with" eachother since 11/2004 – we were married on 5/20/2006!  So, ’tis our one year anniversary!  Oh my gosh we had a blast.  Daniel told me we were going for a drive.  A drive we did up to Napa Valley and into Calistoga California.

We walked around Lincoln Ave in Calistoga and had some fun sites!  There was the "wind fun" guy, the old cars AND the beautiful architecture. 

But his surprise was when we walked into the Lavender Hills Spa!  We had a seaweed bath, facial of sorts, and an hour massage.  Hello?!  What a guy!

I love you honey, and happy first anniversary and looking forward to many many more.

Love and Light,

Mon (enjoy the pics!)

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The Wind Things Man

He was a very colorful guy and very happy!  I just had to put this pic in here. 

 

 

 

 

 

The Price of Living There (well, nice parcel!)

 

The price on this is $2,850,000USD.  Daniel and I were talking about retiring there – but um, the businesses will need to pick up a bit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The downtown

 

The Architecture