Posts Tagged ‘souls’

I’m 40, and I don’t feel old.  Old would be 90 perhaps.  Not 40.

I smoke, have for a long time.  Disgusting, I know.  But I smoke.

On Friday, a first happened for me.  I was called “The Mean Ugly Old White Lady” by 3 children and their father.

Here’s how that went.

I was standing in a handicap parking lot space outside of the hotel (the Friday night fun night!) instructing my hubby on where the night of mystery was gonna be and what to do when he got there.  (It was a blow your socks off night!  Well planned out, I might add).

I was standing in the parking space because I was outside of the hotel having a cigarrette chatting on the phone.  If I smoke, I do it more than 20 feet from the door, in California there are laws on where to smoke.  I understand and abide by them happily.

After my phone call I looked up and noticed a Mercedes Benz with it’s blinkers on clearly waiting for me to move out of the space their were trying to pull into!

Ooops!

I hurry out of the way and made sure I was quite a bit away from the car.

Out popped three little kids with their hands over their faces.  I didn’t notice as I was yelling at the dad “Goodness, I’m sorry.  I completely zoned!”.  Smiling my usual smile and waving at him in apology.

Things happened a bit quick from there.

He said:  Yeah, well we are more concerned about your smoking.

Me: My what? (not sure if I heard him right, I’m quite a bit aways from them)

He said:  Hurry kids, get away from her and run to the door!  (not kidding here, he sounded like I had a gun)

Me:  Um…. (remember, I’m pretty far from them and they are entering a hotel with smoking rooms ~ so they aren’t getting to safety runnin’ inside of there!)

He said:  Cover your face kids!

Me:  Okaaaaay (I backed up even further, although the smoke was going the opposite direction of them – all I could do is watch while the kids covered their faces, but stuck their tongues out at me yelling “gross” “she’s gross” “daddy hurry up!”)

He said:  Yeah well (turning to me) they teach them this in school (almost, although not quite, apologetically)

He brought the kids inside after they gave me dirty looks and he just laughed and encouraged them to look at the gross smoking lady.

I was dumbfounded.

Not at the fear of smoke, although – that’s a bit over the top.  But I get that, if they don’t like it now maybe they won’t pick up the filthy habit.

But at the fact a parent did not reprimand their child for treating a human, a perfect stranger, like dirt.  I’ve seen it happen around me and it disgusts me.  But to really pay attention to the little ones that night, it hurt my heart that beautiful souls are being taught at such a young age that being mean to someone is okay and simply part of your day.  That left me in disbelief at the door. It’s only the beginning for these little ones I’m afraid.

As I walked upstairs thanking myself for raising children that don’t see race, physical limitations, or anything out of their norm as something they use against people – I heard the family through the door and stopped for a moment just outside.

The kids were telling their mum I suppose of the event.  But what I heard was this:

The dad was agreeing “yup!” after everything each of the kids were saying.  The mum was saying “I should go down there and kick her butt (different word used).”

The children were telling a tale of a “Mean.  Ugly Old White Lady downstairs smoking at the door and not letting them in.  She was blowing smoke at these poor little kids.  This Mean Ugly Old White Lady was giving them dirty looks and threatening them.”

Oh.  My.  Gosh.

She promptly said she was calling the manager and complaining about the Mean Ugly Old White Lady and the kids were happy and yelling “yeah!”.

The father never corrected their story.  He laughed and described how ugly I was.  I’m not joking.

I’m left with being the Mean Ugly Old White Lady at the Holiday Inn Express.

On This Beautiful Day there are Souls entering

and Leaving Our Existence.

Right now, in this moment I choose to BE

and to tell you right now, right here…

I’m grateful for you sharing this moment and time with me

~Monica~

There are so many emotions, some are exhilerating… some, well… not so exhilerating.

There’s been this issue (not MINE) that has happened to a friend of mine (who will remain un-named).  This person has had something happen in HER life that have put her in a somewhat VICTIM situation.  Well, she’s not a victim – we are all in charge of our own lives.  But to me, what has happened is horrific. 

Mind you, that is MY thought on something that hasn’t happened to me.  So why the heck am I holding on to this anger monster the size of King Kong’s momma?  Well, it’s obviously my choice.

I love this person very much – but I get to know it’s her life and she’s the one that will deal with it.  Not me.  I have to remind myself I’m not the one to run out and SAVE everyone.  Sometimes, no matter what MY opinions are – I get to leave others to their own lives.

Why is it I have this overpowering save the world feeling.  It’s only my representating of what things should look like.  I know better.

She’s a beautiful soul and she’ll be fine.

I get to get my feelings to the source – the person that has caused my friend pain, the person that I am so angry with I could spit nails.

Anger is a horrible thing – it feels like acid eating away at you.

Oh and the ENERGIES that I am putting out into the universe, not good.  Not good at all. 

I get to know she’s in the perfect place for her.  I don’t have to *like* or *accept* what I know to be harmful… but I get to love my friend no matter what, and get RID of this Anger Beast that has me by the very heart.

  Love and Light (pure beautiful light),

Mon

(… seems alot of folks are worked up over this so let me just say right here and now – I’m not telling you to see the movie, I’m not telling you not to see the movie, I’m not suggesting you see the movie, I’m not suggesting you NOT see the movie… heck, I’m not even suggesting you read my post!    Love and beautiful Light.  You are loved.) 

I’m not sure I understand this, but I received a warning in email to not allow my children to see this movie.  It’s called the Golden Compass.  I know -0- about the movie, and have no personal opinion although now my interest is peaked since I was warned by someone I know quite well.  I must have been part of a large emailing list ’cause I’m not the kind to listen to a warning to not see something.  That usually means it makes it to my *must see*.  (Okay, I have a smidge of rebel in me).

I went to the website and looked at the trailer.  Interestingly enough, there are witches in this and I wondered if that was it.  The person who sent this is very religious.  Could that be why?  If so… Disney has witches.  I don’t understand.  Then I looked closer and found that in this movie they believe a person’s soul is in the outside of their body.  It inhabits something called a Daemon pronounced (DEE-mon).  Maybe ’cause it’s named Daemon it’s contriversial?   An animal with qualities like yourself.  In example if your Daemon is a dog you are one to follow authority (this is what is given on the site).

Still, I have no opinion.  I do not state my religious preferences on this blog for a reason.  Everyone is welcome here, no matter what race, religion etc. etc. etc.  Because the opinion I do share with you is that we are all one.  That I will make known.

So I’m going to research this movie/story because I’m curious to see why it would stir such a vividly explicit almost panicked response of my friend.

Meanwhile I played on the site and found that I too have a Daemon and his name is Laefe.  Handsome fellow really.  Tell me what you think?

Has anyone heard of any kind of reason folks wouldn’t want people to see this movie?  I’m going to research to see.  I do remember folks getting very upset at Harry Potter and The Ring.  Same issues perhaps?

See the trailer here on my site. I purposely didn’t place it on this page as it takes just a bit to load and I don’t want to hang folks up. Beware, they have it to set to play immediately. But very interesting.

or… whatever it is you celebrate during this time of year. 

Today was extremely stressful with issues come at me from every edge of my universe.  I think I dodged instead of fighting all of them.  It’s easier that way at times, and could be the best for everyone involved.  I almost got confrontational with my son’s doctor.  Oh no no no, not helpful at all.  I bit my tongue ~ but I’m going to have to blog about this at a later time.  I really *really* got pretty hot with a few questions that were posed.  Maybe it’s just that momma-bear thing.  Whatever it is, I sure have to make sure my boy is fine.  It’s not necessary to voice my opinions… well, not in front of him that is.

Wow.

I can still feel Harold’s hand holding mine.  It’s funny ’cause I never held his hand before June ‘07 much.  He never was a touchy feely (well… hugs were always there!) kinda guy.  But he held my hand so often and I can still feel it.  It’s funny what the mind can do.  I’m having a problem believing he’s not here on earth anymore.

It’s time to re-energize myself you know?  You cannot assist others when your own battery icon is glowing red.  Does anyone have any hints for meditation or how’s this… what do you do to get the *positive* energy in to your soul and being when you are pouring it out to others to assist them in their struggles?  I have asked some folks and all good ideas which I’m going to practice.  But I was wondering what anyone here would like to share?

There are so many reasons I’m thankful. I thought I’d mention each of my babies.

Today is Stephen’s Day.

At the time, he was maybe 6 or so? It was taken in 1997 I believe. He’s now 15 and 6′1". He works at Cold Stone… and, he’s well… growing up.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were to truly understand how fast time flys? Times like this photo were abundant then. If we could just make time stand still and re-play it. That’s what my photos mean to me – they are my capture of feeling and life in a snapshot.

Stephen is a beautiful soul. In so many ways… I’ll tell you more when I update later.

My children are each so beautiful that I thought if I had an entry for each I could keep going to to update with my "thankful fors" it would be nice to read when they are older…

Love and Light,

Monica