Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

Harold Ford 2/19/1938 - 10/27/2007

I didn’t know what else to call this post, but I do have to say I don’t feel like we are completely without him you know?  I always seem to catch a fragrance (smoke), hear a laugh, or something to remind us of him – he’s still very much around.

That’s my belief, take it or leave it – but it’s really a knowing.  Harold loves us mucho.  The old “coot” said he’d haunt us, so why not? 

Harold died of cancer on this day in 2007.  So many of us where effected in so many ways, too many to imagine.

My husband – oh to lose your father, I cannot begin to imagine.

My kids, who only where around him for a few years – were very effected and it broke my heart watching them grieve.

His grandchildren – what can you say to that grief?

Friends, Family – all of us where touched in so many different ways by him.

He’s wasn’t some sweet little old guy though.  Nope.  Well, not on the outside… he was a burly kinda rough Navy kinda guy.  He’s tell you to “kiss off” quite quickly and the next breath laugh his butt off if you tripped and fell.  You just had to shake your head and laugh at him.  He always lived life being truthful to who he was and not worrying what others thought.

I miss you Harold, and as of today… one year after you ditched your 3 dimensional body for a beautiful light spirity one – I have not smoked for over 10 days.  Ha!

I miss you miss you miss you.

So does your son, in such a huge way……

Love and Light,

Your “Honorary Daughter”

For You Harold – A Soft Goodbye

Well, yes… my tushie is crazy today.  Why you ask?

I’m on my 6th day officially smoke free.  I did it THIS time cold turkey.  Wowza.  Here’s what it’s like:

1. I’ve gone nuts – as evident by chasing my boys (16 & 17 – both over 6′ tall and over 220lbs) through Starbucks with a teddy bear.
2. Wanting to scream at the top of my lungs (which, btw actually hold AIR now)
3. Burning SO much incense ’cause – WOW – I can smell it even better
4. Yelling at my hubby (oh I’m horrid today!)
5. Crying in bed wrapped in a blanket in a neo-natal position
6. Laying in the backyard on my back in my ALMOST completed sanctuary staring so deeply into the blue sky I feel like I was flying

It’s a crazy day – but I feel and smell so wonderful.

My Father In Law passed away last October – I promised him I would stop soon, he told me he’d come after me if I didn’t.    He was an ornery old coot – and died of lung cancer.  In being his “honorary daughter” and someone he shared with at the end in the most spiritual way I could have ever imagined – I’m taking control of my physical life because he said I’d be much happier if I lived healthy.

I believe you Harold… and feel you near me every moment I think of you.  I love you and I miss you so so so much.

Love and Light,

Monica

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.

~ There will be a dedication post to Harold, it’s just I get to be a bit more stable when I write it ~

Okay, this whole stop smoking thing is bizzare.  I made it 5 days, then smoked one day, then stopped one day then smoking today.

ARGH!

Fer cryin’ out loud.  I’m teaching myself that *I* control the habit.  The habit doesn’t control me.  For me, this seems to be working pretty well.  Each time I smoke I get sick – perfect!  Blech.

So, on to other info, I’m going to Utah next week for training – It’s Impact Trainings LMT 1.  I’ve been through their other trainings:

• Quest Training
• Summit Training
• Lift-Off Training
• Couples & Commitment
• Inner Woman Training I

I always feel so good coming home from these trainings.  Utah is so pretty!  Trouble is, they say it may snow.  This Californian has officially never driven in snow.  Good luck Utah folks!  Steer clear of me!  I’ll be the one slidin’ sideways down the highway yellin’ Yeee Haaaaw! 

Here’s a few pics from Utah I’ve taken:

Enjoy!

Faerie

So alot of you know I’m a smoker right?  Well, along with working on my QuickBooks v2008 certification this weekend, I just stopped smokin’.  I had one in my hand on Friday at 11 AM and had smoked a puff or two and then, well… I don’t know exactly what happened really.  I just turned around, put it out and then threw away all of my cigs, lighters etc.

I’m using the patch and the Nicorette Gum – so far, no smokey.

I apologize for not updating the site every day lately, I’ve been working really hard on getting my business movin’ along.    My Certification is important right now, and I’m 2/3 done.

Not smoking is making me sick.  I know, sounds funny huh?  But your body begins to clean itself up immediately after you stop smoking.  So now I’m coughing, can’t smell a thing (I could for a moment there the first day or so), and I’m so tired.

I wanted to come through and say howdy!

My husband went to the training this weekend and came back quite happy.

Maybe he was happy ’cause I didn’t smell like smoke.  Sure makes for kissin’ alot better.    hee hee

Love and Light all!

~Monica~

I’m 40, and I don’t feel old.  Old would be 90 perhaps.  Not 40.

I smoke, have for a long time.  Disgusting, I know.  But I smoke.

On Friday, a first happened for me.  I was called “The Mean Ugly Old White Lady” by 3 children and their father.

Here’s how that went.

I was standing in a handicap parking lot space outside of the hotel (the Friday night fun night!) instructing my hubby on where the night of mystery was gonna be and what to do when he got there.  (It was a blow your socks off night!  Well planned out, I might add).

I was standing in the parking space because I was outside of the hotel having a cigarrette chatting on the phone.  If I smoke, I do it more than 20 feet from the door, in California there are laws on where to smoke.  I understand and abide by them happily.

After my phone call I looked up and noticed a Mercedes Benz with it’s blinkers on clearly waiting for me to move out of the space their were trying to pull into!

Ooops!

I hurry out of the way and made sure I was quite a bit away from the car.

Out popped three little kids with their hands over their faces.  I didn’t notice as I was yelling at the dad “Goodness, I’m sorry.  I completely zoned!”.  Smiling my usual smile and waving at him in apology.

Things happened a bit quick from there.

He said:  Yeah, well we are more concerned about your smoking.

Me: My what? (not sure if I heard him right, I’m quite a bit aways from them)

He said:  Hurry kids, get away from her and run to the door!  (not kidding here, he sounded like I had a gun)

Me:  Um…. (remember, I’m pretty far from them and they are entering a hotel with smoking rooms ~ so they aren’t getting to safety runnin’ inside of there!)

He said:  Cover your face kids!

Me:  Okaaaaay (I backed up even further, although the smoke was going the opposite direction of them – all I could do is watch while the kids covered their faces, but stuck their tongues out at me yelling “gross” “she’s gross” “daddy hurry up!”)

He said:  Yeah well (turning to me) they teach them this in school (almost, although not quite, apologetically)

He brought the kids inside after they gave me dirty looks and he just laughed and encouraged them to look at the gross smoking lady.

I was dumbfounded.

Not at the fear of smoke, although – that’s a bit over the top.  But I get that, if they don’t like it now maybe they won’t pick up the filthy habit.

But at the fact a parent did not reprimand their child for treating a human, a perfect stranger, like dirt.  I’ve seen it happen around me and it disgusts me.  But to really pay attention to the little ones that night, it hurt my heart that beautiful souls are being taught at such a young age that being mean to someone is okay and simply part of your day.  That left me in disbelief at the door. It’s only the beginning for these little ones I’m afraid.

As I walked upstairs thanking myself for raising children that don’t see race, physical limitations, or anything out of their norm as something they use against people – I heard the family through the door and stopped for a moment just outside.

The kids were telling their mum I suppose of the event.  But what I heard was this:

The dad was agreeing “yup!” after everything each of the kids were saying.  The mum was saying “I should go down there and kick her butt (different word used).”

The children were telling a tale of a “Mean.  Ugly Old White Lady downstairs smoking at the door and not letting them in.  She was blowing smoke at these poor little kids.  This Mean Ugly Old White Lady was giving them dirty looks and threatening them.”

Oh.  My.  Gosh.

She promptly said she was calling the manager and complaining about the Mean Ugly Old White Lady and the kids were happy and yelling “yeah!”.

The father never corrected their story.  He laughed and described how ugly I was.  I’m not joking.

I’m left with being the Mean Ugly Old White Lady at the Holiday Inn Express.

Yoga.

Something I absolutely have always had a calling for. It’s beautiful, serene, and to me – spiritual.

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I’m looking out of my third eye and everything that I’m supposed to be doing. It’s amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. ‘Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama’s got the magic of Clorox 2.’ Ellen DeGeneres

Have I attempted it at any point in my almost 40 years of life?

Um, no.

Until… yesterday.

I went to my very first Yoga class. It was awesome! Mostly first day stuff, but the instructor is someone you just instantly – Trust and Admire. At least I do.

I got stuck once or twice, but got right outta it and all the better!

Yoga – you have a new fan.

Next – well, after I get to know something of what I’m doing… I’m thinking a retreat! Whoot! She has one in a few weeks to a little area in Mexico. Hey, maybe the next one I can hop into.

Yoga, along with my weight loss program and increased excersise is all part of my 40th year present to myself. Smoking is one that will be tackled as I go.

This year is my beautiful me year. Ahhh, I love how it sounds.

(not sure who’s this is… but WOW!  Great photo!)

~Namaste~

My smoking issue is one
of up and down and a whole lot of turbulance. I don’t want it taking
over my blog. Which it has for a little over a month now. I’ll post from
now on at my journal — > Just Another
Quitter. Thanks for the support. Please feel free to check that out if you are
interested.

Now back to the funny life I (we) lead.

—–

Quit Information at new
site.