Posts Tagged ‘mental’

About two years ago I was told by a “doc” that after the test I took, I obviously have ADD. I don’t believe in “classifications” from our doctors. Not for mental, or neurological issues. So I’ll just say, I get really going on something, then drop it like it’s hot. Hey, that’s a song!

I’ve never fully dropped this blog. I’ve written since 2005, but have moved my blog from platform to platform settling on WP for awhile now. Still, it’s been three years and I haven’t dropped it.

I purchased a German Shepard puppy – Indy – ’cause I was really excited to do canine search and rescue. Well, the little guy has “pano” and working him with limping this bad isn’t such a bright idea. So that’s on hold.

I’ve been an accountant in one form or another from clerk to CFO to now consultant, my own company. I’ve done the same thing since I was 17. So that’s 23 years. So that’s steady.

Somehow I got into database maintenance for a company, and have done that for 2 years now. Web maintenance for about two years as well.

What did I WANT to be when I grew up? Well, besides U.S. Air Force career that went down the tubes before actually leaving for boot camp – Engineering/Mathematics/Physics was where I wanted to be. Why? The hecks if I know! But, one of those was something I would have LOVED to get into.

Alas – single mom for 10 years, you don’t just change careers. Now I’m married… but…

I’m really at a point where I’m bored. I’ve lost my largest client – rather, they WAY cut hours so I’m not doing well financially. Hey, that’s the sound from alot of folks now adays. Daniel’s business is always fine.

What should I do? I’m 40 is that too late to abruptly change career paths? I mean abruptly. Go to school, get another degree… that kinda thing.

I’m bored and not making $$$.

Maybe a teacher? I don’t know…. scientist? Can you really start stuff like that at 40? I love math… history… I just signed up for my first class at college in a few years it seems. Some funky pre-requisite class but I noticed my major was Physics… from 1994! I hadn’t been there in awhile. LOL Why did I quit that? OH yeah… divorce…

ARGH!

Oh yeah, the reference to ADD is ’cause hobby wise I pick something up, get excited and drop drop drop.  argh

Have you ever felt as if the words that come out of your mouth are simply not at all what you meant?

Do folks you speak to listen for a moment then turn to the computer and begin typing as if you never were there, let alone engaged in conversation with them?

Do folks scrunch up their nose, repeat back to you what they believe you just said only to say words you didn’t mean to say?

Or, my personal fav, as you are engaging in conversation with someone they look over your shoulder and walk away from you.  While you are still mid-sentance.  You stand their mouth open in the middle of a word, and they don’t remember you were ever there let alone speaking?

Seriously.

It’s an odd phenomenon that is happening lately to me.

I feel like I’m speaking another language.

I have begun to just stop talking.

I can type what I want to say.  I just cannot speak it.

This is so bad in fact I’m starting to see a doctor.  A um, *head* doctor.

Dr. HowAmI is what I’ll call him here.

(the exact words may not be precise, but this really did happen)

While explaining my issue and confusion I’m mid sentence as his personal cell phone rings.

Dr. HowAmI  looks to the cell phone as I hang mid-sentence explaining that no one hears me – he then answers the phone and abruptly stands up holding his finger up as if to say “One Moment Please”.

Dr. HowAmI proceeds to *leave* the room while chatting on his phone.

NO KIDDING

I blink at least 5 times with my mouth still open as I turn my head watching the door as he walks through and closes it.

I’m now in a Psychiatrists office – alone.  After explaining that others interrupt, ignore, or forget I exist.

NO KIDDING

What do I do?

I burst out laughing.  Suddenly, I cannot stop laughing.

Yes folks, I have lost my ever lovin’ mind.

It’s like the beginning of a horror flick.  “She Wasn’t Heard So She Made Them Hear” (::insert sound of chainsaw::)

Meanwhile, I’m trying to stop laughing so I’m chuckling to myself in a room waiting for my doctor to return.

He returns and looks severely embarrassed and apologies profusely.

I told him not to be sorry.

Why am I speaking Jibberish?

Is there some sort of energy stuck somewhere in me?  What’s UP?!

Oh, are you still reading the blog or did you sign off?!

hee hee

Someone help!