Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

It’s been almost another year of my marriage to Daniel.  We were married in May of 2006.  So… that’s 3 years! During our three years we’ve had ups, downs, side-to-sides (LOL) etc.  I guess that means we are normal.  Whoot!

Here’s my thoughts on Marriage, and remember it’s coming from a gal that said:

“I’m never gonna get married again!”

1.  When the hubby says “nothing is wrong” – leave it be.  If the hubby wants to discuss his issue, he will – when he’s ready.  Remember, it’s *his* issue – not yours.

2.  When the wifey is angry at the hubby and refuses to explain in detail what has upset her, how to correct it – if it should be corrected, what it means to her – then expect that same issue to come creeping up again.  How will the hubby know if you just “expect” the hubby to figure it out?  Wifey didn’t marry a mind reader – nor did she marry a woman – he’s a man, explain it all in detail!  Remember – it’s wifey’s issue not his.

3.  Give love – Give respect – Give thanks always when you think of it.  How will it come back to you if it’s not given?

4.  Remember why you fell in love with him – it brings a smile to your face each time.

5.  If wifey comes home in a great mood and he doesn’t – ignore it (see #1) – maybe wifey’s happiness will leak out into the space around him

6.  If hubby is in a great mood and wifey doesn’t feel like smiling – rub on him – (LOL) maybe it will wear off on wifey (see #4)

7.  Remember – always – love is beautiful and haggard looking at times, be thankful you are partners and you picked the best one for you.

Well, I for one am thankful and I’m learning as I go how to be a partner instead of an independent.  Are there any thoughts anyone else has?  Any lists you may have to deal with a partner or a spouse?

Love and Light and happy Spring Flowers on Earth Day!

This is my fourth Valentine’s Day with my husband, Daniel.  We were married May of 2006, and dated off an on since November 2004.  I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge this man and how much I love him.

He went from having one child and a quaint life to being the head of a household of then 4 kids, his – the youngest.  He went through the trials of me and my daughter before she moved out.  He went through the trials of one of my son’s just not truly engaging in school and feeling lost.  He continues to go through my youngest’s mental health issues.  Although sometimes he says it’s about all he can take – he continues on.  I respect and admire this man who took on so much when he had the slow and calm life before.

With all of the issues my husband has dealt with by marrying me, I’ve given him the three most important *beings* in my life.  My children.  It’s a gift I would not have given to just anyone.  Although there is drama – there is more love than someone could ever imagine if they were not living it.

He has provided for us, loved us, and generally put up with us.  That’s quite amazing.  On the other side… I’ve put up with him as well.  That’s marriage and it’s what we signed up for.  I’ve been so busy with work, sleep (boy I’m tired!) and Stephen – that I haven’t had much time for my hubby.  We are making time tomorrow which will be wonderful, even though it’s storming.  Hey, storms are romantic.

While we venture closer to our wedding anniversary I can honestly say it’s been a wonderful ride.  I love him very much and thought I’d tell him here as well as together tomorrow for Valentines Day.

He sent me flowers to my job today.  I got to put the beautiful roses in my cubbie and feel loved publicly.  Very nice indeed.

I love you Daniel, thank you for taking on this adventure with me.  Happy Valentines Day.

Love,

Monnie

I’m treating him to a night tonight.

A very well planned out ~ thought out ~ blow your socks off night.

I’ll tell you all (no, not all) about it when I can.

I’ve been planning it since he did a wonderful night for me!

Gotta keep the hubby happy eh?

What’s marriage for anyway ~ fun and surprises!

Have a Great Friday ~ I won’t be back on until at least tomorrow night.

(hee hee)

According to Wikipedia marriage is:

“Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is called a wedding and the status created is sometimes called wedlock.”

According to Monica, marriage is:

“An agreement by two people (no, I DON’T care if it’s same sex fer cryin’ out loud!  that dispute is getting old to me… sheesh):

• combine assets,
• allow the other full access to your heart (yes, even the potential to hurt one another),
• publicly announce you are taken (jeeze, this one was like putting out an announcement in the paper – or maybe we should have),
• to love the other one – even when you are angrier than a bull getting messed with by a guy with a red blanket,
• to not leave or announce DIVORCE ’cause you just can’t take it anymore
• to respect eachother’s lives (yes, we actually DO still have our own lives)
• to deal with the other’s families, even if you aren’t sure why they do what they do (not my hubbies family ofcourse)

to learn, to love, through sickness and health – ’till death do us part kinda thing”

So, after having our 2 year wedding anniversary I can say we’ve done all of the above.

What is a marriage that works?  To me, it’s one you keep working on.

I was married once before, so was he.  His lasted longer than mine… mine lasted all of 6 years.  Enough time to have my beautiful children and thank my ex-husband for the time I had with him.  It wasn’t a pretty breakup, but very quiet – we just gave up.

Daniel and I work hard sometimes on our marriage.  He came in to a family – me and three children.  I took on him and his son.  He is a neat freak, I’m messier than all heck.  He is a perfectionist with money… me?  Well… I have some and my kids are fed and I was always able to pay the bills and keep what I had, that’s all that mattered to me.

We are so different in so many ways.  SO many ways.  I talk to my ex-boyfriend once in awhile, he talks to his ex-wife almost daily.  His ex-girlfriend reads my blog, my ex-boyfriend reads my MySpace.

He is a great provider, a wonderful step-father, and great other things. 

So what do I feel today that’s different than when he and I first started this relationship?  I feel secure, happy, and at peace.

There are days when both of us wonder “what next?”.

Today we just get to *be*.

I love my husband and am glad we fought so hard to be together.  We each left people with broken hearts to come together.  They just weren’t the ones we were to share our lives with.

According to Monica ~ Marriage:  A Union of Two Spirits that Chose to Come Together In This Life to Learn with Eachother

~Monica~

I was asked to be the photographer… WOW no stress!  LOL  But I am willingly doing this because to give my beautiful friend the photos of how I see her… that is an amazing opportunity.

I love you Dawn… I’m excited for you and Lang. 

Love and Light,

Monica