Posts Tagged ‘love’

USMC Mom and Marine Son

With my son back with us for less than a month, I’m feeling good.  So much has happened in this past week.  We drove down to San Diego and saw him for the first time in over 13 weeks on Thursday.  Seeing him was shocking to say the least.  He went from 220lbs (about) to 164lbs.  This was a huge change!  Not only that, but the change that only basic training can provide.  A focused young man greeted us for family day.

The United States Marine Corps is very good at training our men and women.  It’s evident in all of the young men that we saw on Family Day and Graduation.  Discipline, respect, honor and courage.  I’d say they all have that.  It’s obvious just when you look at them.  For a mom, this takes on a whole new aspect – believe me.

There are so many feelings I’d like to share, but perhaps I will show a photo first.  The photo is of my son and the best thing a momma could ask for – one huge hug.

I have a little bit of time to write.  Amazing!

On December 7th, my eldest son – middle child – went into USMC Boot Camp.  Sunday, December 6th I dropped him off at the recruiter’s office and that’s the last I’ve seen of my boy.  That’s a key word – “Boy”.  You see, once he graduations and becomes a Marine – he will forever be lost as a boy.  Sound harsh?  Maybe – but it’s true.  The come home men.  Parent’s girls who leave for Parris Island come back Women.  It’s inevitable.

I’ve been lucky to have found Recruit Parents Forums within the Marine Parents website.  There are parents, girlfriends, wives, etc. that are going through the same thing I am and with the same platoon as my son.  It’s a very good form of relasing I guess you would say.  The USMC is the longest Basic Training of all of the military basic’s.  My son will be gone for 13 weeks and I’ll be able to go to his graduation on March 5th.  Ofcourse, the drop out rate is high for Marines I’m sure – so I’m going to assume my son will make it through.  Of that, I have no doubt.

The emotions I’m going through are plenty.  In no certain order:

• Pride
• Sadness
• Loneliness
• Happiness
• Fear
• Excitement
• Loss
• Frightened

In all of that, Pride tops the list.  To be a USMC Recruit Mother – there are few of us as there are few Marines.  I’ll let you know what it means to be a USMC Mother when that happens.

For those interested – the link for the Marine Parents Site is:  MarineParents.com

It’s Christmas – and I miss my son.  My daughter and my youngest son are at her Grandma’s house for Christmas day.  It’s just me and Daniel for the night.

I feel so lost.  For the last 21 years all I’ve ever done is be a mom.  What the heck happens when that’s not a full time plus job anymore?  Who am I?

Love and Light to all of you ~ I am blessed to have made connections with you.

~Monica~

May 11th was the last post I did before running head long into my 18 year old’s issues.  Now what issues might those have been to keep me away from my bloggy for so long you may ask.  Oh let me tell you.

James is leaving for the USMC Boot Camp on June 15th.  Just a few weeks from now.  That is – as long as he gets his high school diploma.  Why would this be an issue I can hear you ask.

HE DIDN’T DO EVERYTHING HE WAS SUPPOSED TO!

.. ahem ..

Pardon the out burst.

So, until yesterday at 6:00 PM my handsome young man has not had much sleep.  His assignments – all of them – were due today.  Which, btw, he did get all of it done.

But WHY wait I ask you.  Why until the last momento?!

Stress your mother out!  I am stressed beyond belief that little booger!

He’ll be graduating per the teacher.  He called the SSgt to let him know all is good.

Ahhh….

Now, more stress – my son is leaving to the USMC Boot Camp!  Oh why why why do they grow up anyway?

Thanks for all the comments…I’ll be blog hopping as soon as I catch up on my sleep.

He’s not a Marine yet… they aren’t one until they graduate from Boot Camp.  Meanwhile… I’ll be a momma realizing the nest is getting a bit thin.

Hugs to everyone.  I have so much to tell you but my eyes are really tired!

Hugs hugs hugs

~Mon

This seems to be video 4 in my series this week.

I’m very much looking inside of myself right now – thus all of the sappy videos.

I am so grateful for my family.  I am so grateful for my friends.  I am so grateful for my life.

This video is called “How Could Anyone” by Shaina Noll.  This brings a lump to my throat for a number of reasons.  One, and foremost it reminds me of my sister and how much I love her.  We were out of touch for over 10 years.  We found each other luckilly again and made amends for what we don’t even remember being an issue.

Please listen to this song because it can mean so many things to each person.

“How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful… ”

Anyone else getting spam in Russian?  I think it’s Russian… LOL

Not sure what they want.  At least use the language of the blog eh?  Although, I love to mingle with other folks in other countries… just not spam.

So, are you getting funny Russian?

Hi there!  Pardon me while I catch up on my blog hopping and my comment answering!  I’m getting there friends!  Meanwhile – someone posted this in a group and I so loved it I had to share with all of you:

The Whale

A female  humpback whale had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.

She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat.

She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralon Islands (outside the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge) and radioed for assistance.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined she was so bad off that the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her – a very dangerous proposition.  One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

The worked for hours with carved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, nudged and pushed them gently – as if to thank each one.

The rescuer that cut the rope out of her mouth said her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so fortunate – to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled form the things that are binding you.

And may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

I pass this on to you, my friend, in the same spirit.

(from an email titled “Do They Understand?”)

This is one of my most favorite songs, and what better than for it to be a tribute to our heroes. While my son James only has a few more months before going into the USMC – this proud momma wants to give tribute to our heroes. My brother is a police officer and deserves my tribute as well.

Top Left – My son, Stephen | Top Right – My brother Tim | Bottom Left – My daughter’s guy – Joseph | Bottom Middle – My daughter – Jessica | Bottom Right – My son, James

Bless you all.

This is Alabama – Angels Among Us

This is my fourth Valentine’s Day with my husband, Daniel.  We were married May of 2006, and dated off an on since November 2004.  I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge this man and how much I love him.

He went from having one child and a quaint life to being the head of a household of then 4 kids, his – the youngest.  He went through the trials of me and my daughter before she moved out.  He went through the trials of one of my son’s just not truly engaging in school and feeling lost.  He continues to go through my youngest’s mental health issues.  Although sometimes he says it’s about all he can take – he continues on.  I respect and admire this man who took on so much when he had the slow and calm life before.

With all of the issues my husband has dealt with by marrying me, I’ve given him the three most important *beings* in my life.  My children.  It’s a gift I would not have given to just anyone.  Although there is drama – there is more love than someone could ever imagine if they were not living it.

He has provided for us, loved us, and generally put up with us.  That’s quite amazing.  On the other side… I’ve put up with him as well.  That’s marriage and it’s what we signed up for.  I’ve been so busy with work, sleep (boy I’m tired!) and Stephen – that I haven’t had much time for my hubby.  We are making time tomorrow which will be wonderful, even though it’s storming.  Hey, storms are romantic.

While we venture closer to our wedding anniversary I can honestly say it’s been a wonderful ride.  I love him very much and thought I’d tell him here as well as together tomorrow for Valentines Day.

He sent me flowers to my job today.  I got to put the beautiful roses in my cubbie and feel loved publicly.  Very nice indeed.

I love you Daniel, thank you for taking on this adventure with me.  Happy Valentines Day.

Love,

Monnie

While my handsome boy is in the hospital getting some much needed assistance, I’m left with the thought of – “What happens when he comes home?”  Afterall, it sure doesn’t seem safe to me for him to be here at the house alone.

So a friend referred me to a company that places in home caregivers.  Normally, this is for an invalid elder parent or someone that just got done with surgery.  But, my little boy deserves to have some assistance at home.  I deserve to have some piece of mind.

I meet with them on Tuesday to see if there is a fit somewhere.  The person will need to be able to handle a 6′1″ 250lb kid (185.42 cm | 113.40 kilo) if he has a psychotic episode, they will need to understand bi-polar and psychosis disorder.  They’ll need to be okay with a big (kinda) German Shephard.  They’ll also need to be here from 6 AM to 6 PM.  Where do you find someone like that?

I’m sure there is something we can do.  I made it clear to the doctors he cannot come home until we have a safe plan in place.

Speaking of doctors.  Let me tell you a bit about what I go through with these folks.

First, they always like to say the reason he’s going through this is something YOU are doing wrong.  Now, at first – I listened to that and thought I surely must be a horrible parent.  Then, the more I thought about it the more I figured out they truly don’t know what the issue is and the easiest way to put blame somewhere is on the parent.  Now, I’m quite strong minded and strong willed.  Although in the beginning I took everything to heart and beat myself up for it, the more I got into this the more I realized the docs didn’t know as much as they SOUND like they do.

Let me give you an example of this.  His psychiatrist, his therapist and his OTHER doctor all recommended he go on this Independent Study High School Program.  My initial reaction was “You have got to be kidding!  You want a child that is depressed to stay home all day with not interaction with society?  It will make him more depressed!”  Yes, I said just that.  Their response?  “No, this is the best thing for him.  He cannot handle regular high school.”  With that, he was switched to the Independent program against my better judgement.  The psychiatrist that is treating him in the hospital chastised me for putting him into a program with this.  Basically asking what I was thinking, and that because he was depressed placing him in this situation just worsened it.  I let her have it with all the momma guns I have:

“You people are completely guessing at crap aren’t you?”  ” I put my child there because folks that have the SAME degree as you said it was the best for him while I argued it wasn’t!”  “You people are guessing!”

They are you know.  Mind you, they do know alot more than me.  But when it comes to my child – I’ve learned a year and a half later – I KNOW MORE!

I really ripped into that doctor.  They were saying it was the environment that was causing this.  Yeah, okay – you are right – a loving home is a horrid thing to live in.  I give up.

The doctors will always tell you that you are doing something wrong.

I ended that discussion saying that I’ve figured them out, they know nothing – they are guessing and that from now on they will listen to me.

::sigh::

They want a fight?  I’ll give them one. This is my baby – he’s struggling like there is no tomorrow and I’ll be d*mned if I allow these doctors to continue to play guessing games with my child’s life.

They get to get to the bottom line.  What is the issue?  Obviously the medication doesn’t work.  Not any of them.  They work for a bit then he crashes hard.  Argh.

Okay, I’m done venting about the docs for a moment.  But I get to go to see them tonight and I’ll be fighting again if that’s what it takes.

Now – I need to find Mary Poppins on steroids.

Love and Light,

Mon

Well let us see how last night went shall we?

I was trying to get this blog in some kinda order after changing hosts. I have a temporary Wordpress Theme up, but I like how it’s situated. Just not the colors or lack thereof. But, when I went to have fun and change stuff around the most HUGEST (is that a word?) headache hit like a ton of bricks. Oh my goodness. Then, it was so bad I felt sick. So, off the computer I went and straight to bed.

Then, the hubby comes home – bless his heart. Dotting all over me and taking care of me like the wonderful hubby he is. We watched Ghost Whisperer Season Two Disc Two – one or two episodes and I was done. I had a pounding headache and felt like crud.

Then, we got into an argument. A new one? No… more of the same thing. It didn’t end well so this morning I got on the phone and told him I was sorry. Lordy. Lordy. Being married means so many things, but one thing it means is ya can’t get away from them. LOL So you better make up.

Making up is fun actually. He’s been so wonderful lately, I guess feeling sick mixed with other stuff just set me off. No bigge – we *kissed* and made up so to speak.

It’s been rough here. He’s working so hard and my client base has dwindled due to so many things. So I’m barely making it financially. Which means, he’s doing all the work. I’m at home taking care of the house, making sure my kids get all their school stuff done, and working on the clients I have left – ’cause I love them and am very grateful to have them.

My kids are both in Independent Study now. It’s like homeschooling really. I have their schedule every day of what they need to do, I meet with their teacher once a week to get more work for them and turn in their assignments (rather, they do that – I take notes). BUT their report cards came in! WOW! It’s the biggest improvement I’ve ever seen from them. They are so proud! So is this momma.

So my husband is working away while I’m doing all of these things that are important – but, what happened to me holding my own financially? I was the sole supporter for over 10 years now I’m home? It’s a huge adjustment.

I’m starting school on the 20th of this month. I’m almost embarassed to say what for ’cause I’ve been laughed at a few times. But I’ll say it here – and let me be very clear this is what I had wanted since I was young, but babies etc. well… you know what happens to plans when you have the little ones. Okay, my major is Physics. Yes, laugh all ya want. Who knows I could change my mind. I’m already an Accountant, this would be a complete career change that will take YEARS to get to. But there are some really neat opportunities just in the first year of being an undergraduate! No laughing… okay, you can laugh. We’ll see how far this goes, but at least I can go for it!

In February I’ll be 41 years old/young. I’m so extremely excited about my 40s! It’s me time after my Stephen is graduated in June of 2010. That’s not that far away. Jimmy goes into the USMC on June 14th, and my daughter is already out and on her own. I do have my Step Son Daniel that will be 14 (OMG!) on the 11th of this month, but his momma does all the hard work with him. I just get to love him to death when we get him. So I’m almost done… wow.

Many things are going on now in my life – I just want to be sure I enjoy ever moment of it you know?

Wow, life is Grand!