Posts Tagged ‘kids’

I’m 40, and I don’t feel old.  Old would be 90 perhaps.  Not 40.

I smoke, have for a long time.  Disgusting, I know.  But I smoke.

On Friday, a first happened for me.  I was called “The Mean Ugly Old White Lady” by 3 children and their father.

Here’s how that went.

I was standing in a handicap parking lot space outside of the hotel (the Friday night fun night!) instructing my hubby on where the night of mystery was gonna be and what to do when he got there.  (It was a blow your socks off night!  Well planned out, I might add).

I was standing in the parking space because I was outside of the hotel having a cigarrette chatting on the phone.  If I smoke, I do it more than 20 feet from the door, in California there are laws on where to smoke.  I understand and abide by them happily.

After my phone call I looked up and noticed a Mercedes Benz with it’s blinkers on clearly waiting for me to move out of the space their were trying to pull into!

Ooops!

I hurry out of the way and made sure I was quite a bit away from the car.

Out popped three little kids with their hands over their faces.  I didn’t notice as I was yelling at the dad “Goodness, I’m sorry.  I completely zoned!”.  Smiling my usual smile and waving at him in apology.

Things happened a bit quick from there.

He said:  Yeah, well we are more concerned about your smoking.

Me: My what? (not sure if I heard him right, I’m quite a bit aways from them)

He said:  Hurry kids, get away from her and run to the door!  (not kidding here, he sounded like I had a gun)

Me:  Um…. (remember, I’m pretty far from them and they are entering a hotel with smoking rooms ~ so they aren’t getting to safety runnin’ inside of there!)

He said:  Cover your face kids!

Me:  Okaaaaay (I backed up even further, although the smoke was going the opposite direction of them – all I could do is watch while the kids covered their faces, but stuck their tongues out at me yelling “gross” “she’s gross” “daddy hurry up!”)

He said:  Yeah well (turning to me) they teach them this in school (almost, although not quite, apologetically)

He brought the kids inside after they gave me dirty looks and he just laughed and encouraged them to look at the gross smoking lady.

I was dumbfounded.

Not at the fear of smoke, although – that’s a bit over the top.  But I get that, if they don’t like it now maybe they won’t pick up the filthy habit.

But at the fact a parent did not reprimand their child for treating a human, a perfect stranger, like dirt.  I’ve seen it happen around me and it disgusts me.  But to really pay attention to the little ones that night, it hurt my heart that beautiful souls are being taught at such a young age that being mean to someone is okay and simply part of your day.  That left me in disbelief at the door. It’s only the beginning for these little ones I’m afraid.

As I walked upstairs thanking myself for raising children that don’t see race, physical limitations, or anything out of their norm as something they use against people – I heard the family through the door and stopped for a moment just outside.

The kids were telling their mum I suppose of the event.  But what I heard was this:

The dad was agreeing “yup!” after everything each of the kids were saying.  The mum was saying “I should go down there and kick her butt (different word used).”

The children were telling a tale of a “Mean.  Ugly Old White Lady downstairs smoking at the door and not letting them in.  She was blowing smoke at these poor little kids.  This Mean Ugly Old White Lady was giving them dirty looks and threatening them.”

Oh.  My.  Gosh.

She promptly said she was calling the manager and complaining about the Mean Ugly Old White Lady and the kids were happy and yelling “yeah!”.

The father never corrected their story.  He laughed and described how ugly I was.  I’m not joking.

I’m left with being the Mean Ugly Old White Lady at the Holiday Inn Express.

Well….

I’ve had so many things happen in my life since late 2004 that to be very honest, I haven’t felt balanced at all.

Adjusting to married life has been a bit difficult for me to be very honest.  I’m so used to my independence – not with dating others, but just doing what I want when I want.

Like for instance, working in the yard at night.  Sounds easy enough, but I’d always feel so guilty when I wasn’t inside the house making sure my husband was okay.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s from my prior marriage when I was really young.  I was only doing what my husband would do… you know?

So I’ve been cutting the cord so to speak.  I joined SAR (search and rescue) and that’s my time (and my puppy’s!), I’m planning trips without the hubby… just me and the kids, like we used to.  I’ve been out in the yard listening to the frogs and crickets while planting and replanting… these are parts of who I am.

I enjoy traveling.  I enjoy the outdoors.  I enjoy my children.  I enjoy my hubby, but we do get to keep who we are as individuals.  I even GLADLY pushed him into buying his newest vehicle – a 1972 Gran Torino and he’s been at the shop working on it quite a bit.  YEAH!  He’s stopped that for years and years and has finally pulled that part of him back up.  I’m SO glad!

I have missed who I am and have been slowly but surely working to get myself back.  I’m a wife, mother, business owner, sister, daughter, granddaughter, neice, friend, acquaintance, neighbor, volunteer – but underneath all of that, I’m Monica.

I’ve missed Monica.

Hugs to all of you.

~Monica~

… married but still free …

According to Wikipedia marriage is:

“Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is called a wedding and the status created is sometimes called wedlock.”

According to Monica, marriage is:

“An agreement by two people (no, I DON’T care if it’s same sex fer cryin’ out loud!  that dispute is getting old to me… sheesh):

• combine assets,
• allow the other full access to your heart (yes, even the potential to hurt one another),
• publicly announce you are taken (jeeze, this one was like putting out an announcement in the paper – or maybe we should have),
• to love the other one – even when you are angrier than a bull getting messed with by a guy with a red blanket,
• to not leave or announce DIVORCE ’cause you just can’t take it anymore
• to respect eachother’s lives (yes, we actually DO still have our own lives)
• to deal with the other’s families, even if you aren’t sure why they do what they do (not my hubbies family ofcourse)

to learn, to love, through sickness and health – ’till death do us part kinda thing”

So, after having our 2 year wedding anniversary I can say we’ve done all of the above.

What is a marriage that works?  To me, it’s one you keep working on.

I was married once before, so was he.  His lasted longer than mine… mine lasted all of 6 years.  Enough time to have my beautiful children and thank my ex-husband for the time I had with him.  It wasn’t a pretty breakup, but very quiet – we just gave up.

Daniel and I work hard sometimes on our marriage.  He came in to a family – me and three children.  I took on him and his son.  He is a neat freak, I’m messier than all heck.  He is a perfectionist with money… me?  Well… I have some and my kids are fed and I was always able to pay the bills and keep what I had, that’s all that mattered to me.

We are so different in so many ways.  SO many ways.  I talk to my ex-boyfriend once in awhile, he talks to his ex-wife almost daily.  His ex-girlfriend reads my blog, my ex-boyfriend reads my MySpace.

He is a great provider, a wonderful step-father, and great other things. 

So what do I feel today that’s different than when he and I first started this relationship?  I feel secure, happy, and at peace.

There are days when both of us wonder “what next?”.

Today we just get to *be*.

I love my husband and am glad we fought so hard to be together.  We each left people with broken hearts to come together.  They just weren’t the ones we were to share our lives with.

According to Monica ~ Marriage:  A Union of Two Spirits that Chose to Come Together In This Life to Learn with Eachother

~Monica~

more cat pictures

The past few days has been made up of me moving dogs.  What does that mean?  Well, although some folks say to "just put them together!" – I’m 100% with the breeder who says "Keep them separate until they get a bit bored with eachother".  Kinda like – oh yeah, there’s another fuzzy dude here – but that’s not new.  That’s what we have been doing.  Sam is my older dog, 3 years old Black Lab/Great Dane mix (we think), and he’s doing just fine with having Indy here.  Curious, but keeps his distance and is listening to me very well.  Indy isn’t so interested, afterall he’s been around dogs since birth.  So, calm around the house with these two.  Nice.

What that means is, shuffling dogs when one has to go out or the other comes in or it’s feeding time for either.  I’m officially a dog shuffler. 

When the time’s right we’ll get the two out on leashes and walk them around the park and just get them used to closer quarters. 

No new pics of the kid – why?  Well…. I took the camera out in the backyard to get the little guy doing what he enjoys (sniffing around and rolling on the grass) when low and behold he finds water.  Hmmmm.  LOTS of water!  Oh he was so happy!  Splashing around, laying in it, playing with it.  Mind you, we don’t have a pool.  So where did all of the water on the side of the house come from?  The neighbors accidently turned the hose on to max instead of off.  SO – a flooding we go.    All to Indy’s excitement.  No camera at that moment as I was trying to figure out if we had sprung a leak somewhere!  AND trying to be sure my pup wasn’t gonna drown himself… well, ofcourse not, but WOW he’s dirty now.

We’ll have our first bath tonight.  Right now he’s worn out snoozing again. 

Current dog setup – Indy is in my office in the HUGE crate with toys galore chewing on a knuckle bone and then dozing – Sammy is right outside the office laying on his bed. 

All is calm…

… and wet.

It could be just that I suddenly am paying attention, but it sure seems to me there are a plethora of natural disasters occuring as of late. Let’s see if I can list them?

• "Swarm" of earthquakes hitting Reno, Nevada USA (344 of them?!). The article ("Quakes Confuse Experts, Send Kids Under Their Desks" By Sean O’Key CNN) was dated 5/1/2008.
• 6.8 Earthquake offshore 100 miles northeast of Tokyo. The article ("6.8 Earthqake Shakes Tokyo" by AP Published on CNN)
• Myanmar Cyclone. The Article ("US Envoy: Myanmar deaths may top 100,000" by CNN published on CNN)
• Chile’s Volcano Erupting and Evacuations happening. The Article ("Volcano spurs Chile Town’s Evacuation" By CNN)

There are more than that… is Earth upset?!

I think I’ll send out some love and light to our planet. She needs it.

As for the families of those that have lost a loved one, they get to have some love and light as well.  What a disasterous month!

Mon

I’ve had many “dreams” or “pulls” in my life ~ always towards a life purpose. I have children, one purpose in my life was obviously to be a momma to 3 and a step mom to one. Another purpose was to take Daniel as my husband, there was plenty of Universal Guidance at play with that one (believe me!).

So why have I felt like I haven’t done what I’m supposed to be doing in another aspect of my life?

I’m an accountant and small business adviser. I’m even a database gal too! I own my own business. But does being in that career give me a purpose? No. Sadly, no.

No one is going to be all the better in their “life” if I do their books, banking, or database. They may be able to go home at night without worrying about tasks, but does it contribute to their welfare? Nope. Again, sadly, no.

So what’s missing? I have a huge VOID in my life. I’ll explain a bit of Monica 101 to you.

1) Graduating from High School I was signed up for a 7 year agreement with the Air Force. My scores were high, and I could choose certain career paths. I chose a Security K9 Specialist. That would have meant, (as long as it held), I would get a dog and train for anything… bombs, narcotics, firearms… etc. I was SO completely excited as my date to leave approached. Sadly, again… something happened to get me OUT of the military. I won’t go too much into it, but suffice it to say when I could actually enter – I was 7 weeks pregnant. Doh!

2) After having babies and such I began a massive amount of applications, ride-alongs, testing for Police departments. By that time my brother was an officer, and the two of us would have just been in the same career. Hey, that was right down the same alley and perhaps I could go into investigations for a city or K9 unit! Obviously, that wasn’t the way the Universe decided I should go so a certain issue came up and OUT of that I was.

3) … the here and now – investigating into SAR K9. This is search and rescue K9 team. Completely volunteer!

I’m at #3 now. I’ve contacted the local CARDA chapter and one of the trainers contacted me back and took time with me explaining the different disciplines. The work of being a volunteer Search and Rescue team is quite tough, and the trainings are 2x a week with you and your dog. Not to mention the certifications that are required of course. Red Cross certs, First Responder 80 hour training + ALOT MORE! It takes about 2 years for you and your dog to be “Mission Ready”. It’s a serious commitment to be sure and one I don’t take lightly.

I cannot tell you how completely excited I am about reaching towards this venture and perhaps life long endeavor. I’m going on Sunday with them to a training in the hills and brush nearby. I’ll be bringing my hiking boots, backpack and ever curious mind. I am so completely EXCITED!

I had contacted this group about 7 years or so ago and realized at that time that being a single momma and getting called out for a search in the middle of the night (you KNOW that’s when they happen. ) I’d have an issue with the kids. So I decided with the guidance from the team member that waiting until they were older would be a much better position to be in.

So here I am. Researching everything I possibly can regarding what type of searches I need to be trained for. Happy that my car can get me to Longitude and Latitude coordinates, ’cause that’s how they give out locations for trainings… LOL Phew.

Excitement aside ~ I have been asked for years why this is something I’ve wanted to do. I mean being in the Wilderness perhaps, or at a recent disaster, searching for folks in need – yes Dead or alive by the way. Many friends and family have always asked “why would you do that?”. I have searched for the words to explain and I guess it boils down to ~

For me it would be a privilege to serve others in this way.

As for the dog, they know of breeders for GSDs (German Shepards) which is the breed I’m most interested for this. Although, I keep looking at Sammy and his nose of doom (seriously you cannot hide from this dog!) wondering if it wouldn’t be an idea to see what he’s capable of. Who knows, I’m not at that point yet.

I’ll blog on how it went and if I could keep up!

Love and Light to you and yours,

Monica

It’s common right now to hear a neighbor say they will be moving from the area I live in.  They aren’t moving up as was the case years ago when I bought, instead they are walking away from their homes.  They pack what they can, have a huge sale sometimes – I saw someone selling a babies crib while she was holding her baby telling someone she’ll just have the infant sleep with them for awhile until they can afford another crib. 

What’s happening?

When I bought my house I got a "sub-prime" loan myself.  It was my first home purchase and I was a single mother.  I got 100% financing on a $320,000 USD house.  My payments were about $2,100 – definately do-able.  However, it was to go to an adjustable loan in just a few years.  That freaked me out.  I remember asking for a 30 year fixed loan, ’cause that sounded more stable to me.  The folks doing the loan said that wasn’t a good idea because I couldn’t take advantage of the 100% financing (which I needed) and the interest rate would be a point higher.  So, purchase it I did – with a loan that could go funky in a few years. 

I got out of that loan – took out $$$ and paid off all debts.  My home had about doubled in appraised value in a year or so.  Nice.  Still seemed weird to me.  To easy I thought.

Now, I wasn’t the only one that suddenly had tons of equity and was refinancing… others did as well, and some got into horrific loans.  But – you were urged to take certain types of loans.  Well, I did another refinance after I got married and got into a more secure loan – my husband and I own two properties together. 

For me, there isn’t an issue of a house payment that would put me under… but for many, many MANY of my neighbors and folks all over the USA – this isn’t the case.

Our neighbors have walked out on houses because the home value was so low it wouldn’t pay back the bank.  Their payments went up to a few times the amount they could afford.  So what else ya gonna do?

On our court there is a fella that doesn’t have electricity.  In fact, they’ve come to take off his meter – OFF THE HOUSE!  How’s that for turning off your electricity and gas huh?  I’ve heard he’s in foreclosure… a neighbor has an extension cord going to the man’s house to give him some electricity to survive on.  I just found out he’s giving him food too. 

I feel very badly for these folks.  Very badly for them.  I hear others whisper "well if so-n-so didn’t get a house that he/she couldn’t afford they wouldn’t be in this mess".  Yes, true.  But where did the "Holier than thou" attitude show up in all of this?

I see a line being drawn between those that have and those that have not.  Why?  Couldn’t compassion come into play here?  Why would folks be so mean.  Kids are getting uprooted… I see folks around the area depressed – really depressed… that can’t be good. 

I read in a Foreclosure activity report that in California alone there were 64,711 notices of default/foreclosure notices sent out in March – one month!!   This is hurting all of us and it’s sad.  My home probobly is worth less right now than the loan, who knows… I don’t care though, we are here for a long while… so, it doesn’t matter.  There was a housing "bubble" if you will and it seems to have corrected itself.

I find myself feeling thankful… but very mindful that neighbors should be there for one another, not "I have mine and you don’t".

Love and Light (and off the soap box),

Monica

My son went to Pismo Beach camping with friends and ATVing.  He seemed to have had an accident and came home bruised, scabbed up and – as the Emergency room told us after numerous Xrays – one sprained ankle.

BOYS!

He’s still good looking and is now bragging about the 20′ drop of doom.    Luckilly the kid is in one peice!  Argh…

Too bad we didn’t get a movie…

Love and Light,

Monica