Posts Tagged ‘Spiritual’

Well, yes… my tushie is crazy today.  Why you ask?

I’m on my 6th day officially smoke free.  I did it THIS time cold turkey.  Wowza.  Here’s what it’s like:

1. I’ve gone nuts – as evident by chasing my boys (16 & 17 – both over 6′ tall and over 220lbs) through Starbucks with a teddy bear.
2. Wanting to scream at the top of my lungs (which, btw actually hold AIR now)
3. Burning SO much incense ’cause – WOW – I can smell it even better
4. Yelling at my hubby (oh I’m horrid today!)
5. Crying in bed wrapped in a blanket in a neo-natal position
6. Laying in the backyard on my back in my ALMOST completed sanctuary staring so deeply into the blue sky I feel like I was flying

It’s a crazy day – but I feel and smell so wonderful.

My Father In Law passed away last October – I promised him I would stop soon, he told me he’d come after me if I didn’t.    He was an ornery old coot – and died of lung cancer.  In being his “honorary daughter” and someone he shared with at the end in the most spiritual way I could have ever imagined – I’m taking control of my physical life because he said I’d be much happier if I lived healthy.

I believe you Harold… and feel you near me every moment I think of you.  I love you and I miss you so so so much.

Love and Light,

Monica

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.

~ There will be a dedication post to Harold, it’s just I get to be a bit more stable when I write it ~

Oh pooh! I don’t remember who had this up!

Jeeze, there I go clickin’ to quick!

Anywho… thanks to whomever found this fun thing!  Hugs and Love at ya!

So, here’s my contribution to a little fun stuff…. A OK?

You Are an “A-OK”

Your life philosophy can be summed up as, “Whatever will be, will be.” Your greatest wish is to live each day a little better than the next. You are naturally calm and stable. Some people would call you a rock. You feel one with the world. You are a spiritual person, though no one who knows you would guess it.

I’ll give you a bit of my belief for a moment.  I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. I personally believe we live our lives here to *learn*.  I do not believe in a heaven or hell.  I believe that when we die we are all together in our spiritual light – all of us.  Yes, even those you would think or perhaps *hope* would be in hell – they are just as beautiful and as pure as we are in a spiritual sense.

With that said, there are many times I get caught in a cycle of “What Now?”.  Meaning, I know I came here to learn, but sometimes I get confused as to what it is I’m learning.  Right now, I’m in that state of confusion.

I’ll get out of this, but in the meantime I feel as if everything I say doesn’t make sense.  It’s like I’m speaking jibberish.  Literally as I speak to others they turn away, cut me off, or just walk away as if I’m not speaking.  It’s an odd feeling.  I’d say I’ve got some energies stuck somewhere.

I wish my sanctuary outside didn’t get destroyed by the wind.  I really could balance there.

Today is a reflection day.  I found I was holding in so many feelings lately, that I about exploded.  With my father-in-law passing away, I thought I could be strong and that because I knew he was in a beautiful spiritual place now, I would feel okay.  But, it seems I’m like everyone when they lose someone close – I have a grieving period. 

It’s Okay To Greive – in fact, I personally believe for your spiritual health, it’s simply a must

Someone said something that was quite hurtful, and I was very upset.  Then, I looked back on it and realized… it’s okay.  I forgive very easily because I really love so much.  To be spiteful is actually a poison to a person.  Negative energy isn’t allowed in my life, it’s diffused very quickly.  That’s all new to me and I’m learning how to do just that…   Forgiveness is a beautiful and a very cleansing response to any issue really.  Or at least, I’m learning.  To that person, I simply send love and light because it’s just what they need.  Everyone deserves love.

Everyone Deserves Love

Last night I broke down alot.  I feel better today but a bit *hung over* from crying so much.

It’s Healthy To Cry

What works for me?  Taking pictures does… today it did.  Blogging does as well!  And reading blogs from all of you, well… that just puts a day into a perfect place.  Not to mention my beautiful family.

I’ll share with you my journal for today with photos and a bit of what I was thinking as I took each of them.  If it gets too boring, go play frogger on the “Fun Stuff” page!  I’m all about giggles ya know.  Fer cryin’ out loud! 

Here’s my photo journal for the day…

I mentioned a few posts ago that I have new grass.  Due to the puppy we got, the wires to the sprinkler system were dug up and chewed through and well… the puppy just destroyed it.  Because my husband is so truly kind and loving to me, he got us a brand new lawn… and it’s green, and it’s absolutely beautiful.  No more dirt and tufts of weeds, I have my beautiful lawn back. 

That gazebo you see is another of my enjoyments.  My husband and I use the jacuzzi alot!  The top of the gazebo has a wonderful green metal roof.  The sounds of rain on the roof, the feeling of the cold air around you, and the warmth of the 102 degree gurgling jacuzzi… well, it’s just a slice of my heaven.  I’m thankful.

Ofcourse, there are frogs in them thar hills.  If you look up on the gazebo, there are three frogs in a stepping stone that I’ve hung… they are absolutely the best.

This is just one of the times I’ve looked to the sky and gotten the feeling of wonder.  When I’m in the yard, I always look up.  The sky to me is like a slideshow of random wonder.  It’s always ever changing, and never anything less than awe inspiring.  At least, if you look at it through the eyes of a child.  That, I’ve been learning to do more and more as well.  Thanks to Harold ~ he suggested to look at things like you were a child.  It’s an interesting perspective.

Our puppy.  Daniel and I have four children between the two of us.  Both of us wonder what a baby from the both of us would look like, be like… but we are not going to have a child.  After his son was born, he didn’t want another.  After I hit 30, you couldn’t have paid me to go through all of that again.  We are happy to have Sammy – the fur-child.  He doesn’t look like us, doesn’t talk… but BOY does he love us.

Since we’ve had such a tough few months, I’ve noticed something about Sammy that not every dog has… he’s highly responsive to emotions.  In example, I was crying last night and he pushed his head into my arms and just looked up at me with the compassion I would only think could be found in a human.  I’m wrong, ofcourse, but he just seemed to *know*.  He wouldn’t leave my side until I felt better.  Then he moved to the floor by me and laid down, not taking an eye off of me.

Sammy may look ferocious to our neighbors and those that have made the mistake of attempting to get into the yard ~ but his heart is of gold, and he is extremely protective.  He’s a true gift.

Just watch the teeth.  Oh, and when he stands fully erect (with the help of placing his paws on your shoulders) – he looks my husband straight in the eye.  5′10″ I believe.   

As I was about done with my photo thoughts, I walked inside and looked around our house.  It feels so wonderful.  So loving.  Even the refrigerator has love on it:

These beauties are my niece Megan, and her beautiful momma Wendy.  The bear ‘o magnet is from a cruise I was lucky enough to take to Alaska in 2003.  Another bit of thankfulness.

Thank you for sharing in my thoughts for the day.  I truly wish you love and light and remember to look at things through the eyes of a child. 

Love and Light,

Monica Ford