Posts Tagged ‘daughter’

This is my fourth Valentine’s Day with my husband, Daniel.  We were married May of 2006, and dated off an on since November 2004.  I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge this man and how much I love him.

He went from having one child and a quaint life to being the head of a household of then 4 kids, his – the youngest.  He went through the trials of me and my daughter before she moved out.  He went through the trials of one of my son’s just not truly engaging in school and feeling lost.  He continues to go through my youngest’s mental health issues.  Although sometimes he says it’s about all he can take – he continues on.  I respect and admire this man who took on so much when he had the slow and calm life before.

With all of the issues my husband has dealt with by marrying me, I’ve given him the three most important *beings* in my life.  My children.  It’s a gift I would not have given to just anyone.  Although there is drama – there is more love than someone could ever imagine if they were not living it.

He has provided for us, loved us, and generally put up with us.  That’s quite amazing.  On the other side… I’ve put up with him as well.  That’s marriage and it’s what we signed up for.  I’ve been so busy with work, sleep (boy I’m tired!) and Stephen – that I haven’t had much time for my hubby.  We are making time tomorrow which will be wonderful, even though it’s storming.  Hey, storms are romantic.

While we venture closer to our wedding anniversary I can honestly say it’s been a wonderful ride.  I love him very much and thought I’d tell him here as well as together tomorrow for Valentines Day.

He sent me flowers to my job today.  I got to put the beautiful roses in my cubbie and feel loved publicly.  Very nice indeed.

I love you Daniel, thank you for taking on this adventure with me.  Happy Valentines Day.

Love,

Monnie

Well let us see how last night went shall we?

I was trying to get this blog in some kinda order after changing hosts. I have a temporary Wordpress Theme up, but I like how it’s situated. Just not the colors or lack thereof. But, when I went to have fun and change stuff around the most HUGEST (is that a word?) headache hit like a ton of bricks. Oh my goodness. Then, it was so bad I felt sick. So, off the computer I went and straight to bed.

Then, the hubby comes home – bless his heart. Dotting all over me and taking care of me like the wonderful hubby he is. We watched Ghost Whisperer Season Two Disc Two – one or two episodes and I was done. I had a pounding headache and felt like crud.

Then, we got into an argument. A new one? No… more of the same thing. It didn’t end well so this morning I got on the phone and told him I was sorry. Lordy. Lordy. Being married means so many things, but one thing it means is ya can’t get away from them. LOL So you better make up.

Making up is fun actually. He’s been so wonderful lately, I guess feeling sick mixed with other stuff just set me off. No bigge – we *kissed* and made up so to speak.

It’s been rough here. He’s working so hard and my client base has dwindled due to so many things. So I’m barely making it financially. Which means, he’s doing all the work. I’m at home taking care of the house, making sure my kids get all their school stuff done, and working on the clients I have left – ’cause I love them and am very grateful to have them.

My kids are both in Independent Study now. It’s like homeschooling really. I have their schedule every day of what they need to do, I meet with their teacher once a week to get more work for them and turn in their assignments (rather, they do that – I take notes). BUT their report cards came in! WOW! It’s the biggest improvement I’ve ever seen from them. They are so proud! So is this momma.

So my husband is working away while I’m doing all of these things that are important – but, what happened to me holding my own financially? I was the sole supporter for over 10 years now I’m home? It’s a huge adjustment.

I’m starting school on the 20th of this month. I’m almost embarassed to say what for ’cause I’ve been laughed at a few times. But I’ll say it here – and let me be very clear this is what I had wanted since I was young, but babies etc. well… you know what happens to plans when you have the little ones. Okay, my major is Physics. Yes, laugh all ya want. Who knows I could change my mind. I’m already an Accountant, this would be a complete career change that will take YEARS to get to. But there are some really neat opportunities just in the first year of being an undergraduate! No laughing… okay, you can laugh. We’ll see how far this goes, but at least I can go for it!

In February I’ll be 41 years old/young. I’m so extremely excited about my 40s! It’s me time after my Stephen is graduated in June of 2010. That’s not that far away. Jimmy goes into the USMC on June 14th, and my daughter is already out and on her own. I do have my Step Son Daniel that will be 14 (OMG!) on the 11th of this month, but his momma does all the hard work with him. I just get to love him to death when we get him. So I’m almost done… wow.

Many things are going on now in my life – I just want to be sure I enjoy ever moment of it you know?

Wow, life is Grand!

Well, yes… my tushie is crazy today.  Why you ask?

I’m on my 6th day officially smoke free.  I did it THIS time cold turkey.  Wowza.  Here’s what it’s like:

1. I’ve gone nuts – as evident by chasing my boys (16 & 17 – both over 6′ tall and over 220lbs) through Starbucks with a teddy bear.
2. Wanting to scream at the top of my lungs (which, btw actually hold AIR now)
3. Burning SO much incense ’cause – WOW – I can smell it even better
4. Yelling at my hubby (oh I’m horrid today!)
5. Crying in bed wrapped in a blanket in a neo-natal position
6. Laying in the backyard on my back in my ALMOST completed sanctuary staring so deeply into the blue sky I feel like I was flying

It’s a crazy day – but I feel and smell so wonderful.

My Father In Law passed away last October – I promised him I would stop soon, he told me he’d come after me if I didn’t.    He was an ornery old coot – and died of lung cancer.  In being his “honorary daughter” and someone he shared with at the end in the most spiritual way I could have ever imagined – I’m taking control of my physical life because he said I’d be much happier if I lived healthy.

I believe you Harold… and feel you near me every moment I think of you.  I love you and I miss you so so so much.

Love and Light,

Monica

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.

~ There will be a dedication post to Harold, it’s just I get to be a bit more stable when I write it ~

What a mix!

This weekend I had my daughter and her boyfriend come to visit.  They brought Tattoos.  They just got them done!

Here’s Joseph’s tattoo (it’s his last name)

My darling 19 year old daughter was told getting a tattoo wouldn’t really hurt on the top of your foot.  She begs to differ, but here they are – wings!

Wholley OUCH Batman!

Well, hey… she’s got wings and can fly away any time her heart desires.  What a cutie!  Poor thing said she was about in tears as they were doin’ it.  I can only imagine.

Oh, and it’s not done… they still have to FILL THEM IN!  Wholley Molley.

Gutsy little one she is!

On to some fun I had today!

I open the door to find a “singing balloon” held by a man with a vase of flowers.

I was giggling while trying to sign my name, ’cause the baloon was really SINGING!

It was playing the theme song to “Friends” – I’ll be there for you!

I smiled to him and giggled a bit more and asked him (duh!) – is that balloon singin’?  He kinda nodded and handed it to me quickly.  Seems that must have been mortifying for him.

For me, I just giggled and brought it inside tapping the balloon over and over again.

He does this… just buys me flowers.

Ahhh…. what a sweetie!

Here they are!

Even Indy was impressed!

Oh, there’s new news on my Search and Rescue Training!  Indy and I are starting again in October.  Indy has had “Pano” for a few months pretty bad – so I need to go through the visitor thing again, then get a sponsor again… we were close before!  I’m totally excited!

K, Nuff of my update.

Stephen’s very tired and dizzy…. we go to his doctor tomorrow to check on him.  Meds Meds Meds…. argh.

Love and Light,

Monica

So, I leave my computer for a moment.

…. my daughter is here, and using my computer …

Envision this… I have two monitor screens okay?

My daughter apparently had a moment to use Paint software and painted me a pic and made it as my desktop background.

You are free to use it if you wish.

Yes, I’m staring right now on the left monitor… Butt Print ala Jessica

This is day 1 of my week of posts of “What I’m Most Thankful For”.

Day 1 – My Daughter Jessica

While growing up, there was no way in the world I wanted kids. I cannot say I was one of those teen girls that fantasized about getting married to my soul mate and having babies. For me, that was the furthest from my mind. I didn’t want, or need a man. OR anyone for that matter. I was a very angry teen, who wanted to be alone. I wanted a career in the Air Force. Period.

At 20 I was told promptly by a Planned Parenthood employee that my pregnancy test was positive. That was 1988. I figured that solved the mystery of why I felt ill and bloated. I was 6 weeks pregnant with Jessica.

My baby girl, Jessie, was born 3/21/1989 and didn’t utter a sound. The doctor and nurses all became quite hushed. Afterall, babies usually cry as they let the air into their lungs. Not my girl, she refused to make a scene and simply stared directly at me. No lie. It was an uncomfortable silence for a new mother.

I’ve learned silence is golden throughout her rough teen times. She is my daughter, very very very independent and full of life. I never ever – not even once – regreted keeping my baby girl. I was a single mother when she was born and knew I’d be just fine raising her all by myself. I even told the father he could just “fade away” for all I cared.

Yes, remember…. I was an angry person and didn’t care much about anyone back then. EXCEPT – Jessica. Her birth changed me forever.

Headstrong runs through the Nichols’ women. I come from a long line of women who take care of their kids. Alone at times. She certainly got the “headstrong” portion and that played a role in a very turbulent teen time for her. We did make it out alive!

Jessica – Then (1989)

Jessica – Now Graduation w/ Daniel (2007)

She’s beautiful, happy and healthy. She lives with her boyfriend and works and goes to college now. I miss my little girl and love her and thank her for showing me I can be a beautiful, loving, caring person. She was my salvation.

Day 1 – My daughter.

Well….

I’ve had so many things happen in my life since late 2004 that to be very honest, I haven’t felt balanced at all.

Adjusting to married life has been a bit difficult for me to be very honest.  I’m so used to my independence – not with dating others, but just doing what I want when I want.

Like for instance, working in the yard at night.  Sounds easy enough, but I’d always feel so guilty when I wasn’t inside the house making sure my husband was okay.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s from my prior marriage when I was really young.  I was only doing what my husband would do… you know?

So I’ve been cutting the cord so to speak.  I joined SAR (search and rescue) and that’s my time (and my puppy’s!), I’m planning trips without the hubby… just me and the kids, like we used to.  I’ve been out in the yard listening to the frogs and crickets while planting and replanting… these are parts of who I am.

I enjoy traveling.  I enjoy the outdoors.  I enjoy my children.  I enjoy my hubby, but we do get to keep who we are as individuals.  I even GLADLY pushed him into buying his newest vehicle – a 1972 Gran Torino and he’s been at the shop working on it quite a bit.  YEAH!  He’s stopped that for years and years and has finally pulled that part of him back up.  I’m SO glad!

I have missed who I am and have been slowly but surely working to get myself back.  I’m a wife, mother, business owner, sister, daughter, granddaughter, neice, friend, acquaintance, neighbor, volunteer – but underneath all of that, I’m Monica.

I’ve missed Monica.

Hugs to all of you.

~Monica~

… married but still free …

My husband is very giving.  He has a heart of gold.  That’s one of the reasons I love him so much.

One example is on New Year’s day we were at the local cafe eating breakfast together when a mother and a child came in from out of the cold and sat down to order their breakfast.  I overheard them asking if there was a child’s menu and if the mother could order from that.  They were given a child’s menu and they proceeded to order probably the cheapest food on there. I did overhear their ordering, so I know a grilled cheese is one of the cheapest, and they were deciding how to share that and one other item.

I kept looking at them for whatever reason, and the mother surely noticed I was because she turned and looked directly at me.  Normally, you’d get a look like "what are you looking at?" or "yes, can I help you?" kind of thing – well, 9 times out of 10 around here.  But this young mother looked at me and smiled a beautiful welcoming smile and I smiled back.  She turned back to her daughter and back to ordering their food.

D and I talked about it for a moment, and D asked the waitress to come over (quietly of course).  He told the waitress we would pay for their meal and he gestured over to the mom and daughter.  The two didn’t see us do this of course, and wouldn’t have known until it was time for the bill.  We left by then.

Random acts of kindness and serving others is something Daniel is very very good at.  I love him for it.  He never ceases to amaze me at how giving he truly is.  He’s a beautiful spirit and I’m thankful to have him as my life partner.

Life is Beautiful when you can touch someone else in a positive way.  He lives by that.

I’ll just relax a momento and post for you my daughter Jessica’s response for the Meme I did!  Heeeerees Jeeeeesssssssiiiiiiicccca:

Time for QUESTIONSS>….

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
uhmmmm…Fluffy Duffy (our time-share kitty) is missing a fang.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
I was at bakers square eating the french apple pie…mmm pie

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
sitting on the couch with joseph on the laptops like nerd buckets..

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I moved out of my mommy’s house =(

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Yeah" joseph asked if i wanted to watch a movie..

6. How many beverages did you have today?
wow..uhm..Joseph woke me up with STaRBUCKS!! (never happens) probably like 4 bottles of water… a pumpkin spice latte from bakers circle..i mean square

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
Pooooooiiiple…(purlple)

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
My brother’s christmas presnet..tee hee

9. Where were you last night?
sleeping duh…School night!

geeez dont you remember when you had to tell me that! lol

10. What colour is your front door?
I dunno..its not mine…i think its white..i think

11. Where do you keep your change?
in a bacardi bottle…YOU KNEW THAT! it was the only bottle big enough!

12. What’s the weather like today?
ehhh it was nice

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavour?
(lol at moms answer)
uhhhmmmm chocolate fudge with gummie bears..

14. What excites you?
BUBBA! i miss her when im not with her =(

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
haha told you mom!

no way jose…thats why i gots extensions

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Noooo

17. Do you talk a lot?
Yes i get it from my mother

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
Never watched it..dont want to. I heard you get hooked

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Lol is that a trick question?

Ehhhh some brother of mine i think… =)

20. Do you make up your own words?
alll the time..once again…my mother

21. Are you a jealous person?
sometimes…i try and work on it

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’
Audi..my new best friend !

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’
Kookie?

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
Ughh i dont know I cant find my phone..i think its in the car =(

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Me jessica p my two sis my friend gina and kim from school and justin. I talked to him and were good.

It was Megan…I asked her who was going to the concert she invited me too

26. Do you chew on your straw?
ehhhh..I used to

27. Do you have curly hair?
wavy yes…curly noo

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Im going to gamble at jackson this weekend…last minute planning..aaawww yeeeaahh boiii

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
uhhmm…
Probably you know who..

I dont think he knows it

30. What was the last thing you ate?
French apple PIE

31. Will you get married in the future?
When i find the right person…a long time from now

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
TRANSFORMERS! MOM I FINALLY SAW IT AND IT WAS <b>AMAZING!</b>

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
uhmmm…I can tell you something i dont like..my toe, its cut and burning real bad

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
lol dont ask

35. Are you currently depressed?
nope..life is good

36. Did you cry today?
a little…going to work is really sad..
R.I.P Sophia =(

37. Why did you answer and post this?
my mommy wanted me tooo

38. Tag 5 people you want to do this survey.
Hmmmm….I dunno! the only person i would want already did it..!