Nanny for a 16 Year Old?

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While my handsome boy is in the hospital getting some much needed assistance, I’m left with the thought of – “What happens when he comes home?”  Afterall, it sure doesn’t seem safe to me for him to be here at the house alone.

So a friend referred me to a company that places in home caregivers.  Normally, this is for an invalid elder parent or someone that just got done with surgery.  But, my little boy deserves to have some assistance at home.  I deserve to have some piece of mind.

I meet with them on Tuesday to see if there is a fit somewhere.  The person will need to be able to handle a 6′1″ 250lb kid (185.42 cm | 113.40 kilo) if he has a psychotic episode, they will need to understand bi-polar and psychosis disorder.  They’ll need to be okay with a big (kinda) German Shephard.  They’ll also need to be here from 6 AM to 6 PM.  Where do you find someone like that?

I’m sure there is something we can do.  I made it clear to the doctors he cannot come home until we have a safe plan in place.

Speaking of doctors.  Let me tell you a bit about what I go through with these folks.

First, they always like to say the reason he’s going through this is something YOU are doing wrong.  Now, at first – I listened to that and thought I surely must be a horrible parent.  Then, the more I thought about it the more I figured out they truly don’t know what the issue is and the easiest way to put blame somewhere is on the parent.  Now, I’m quite strong minded and strong willed.  Although in the beginning I took everything to heart and beat myself up for it, the more I got into this the more I realized the docs didn’t know as much as they SOUND like they do.

Let me give you an example of this.  His psychiatrist, his therapist and his OTHER doctor all recommended he go on this Independent Study High School Program.  My initial reaction was “You have got to be kidding!  You want a child that is depressed to stay home all day with not interaction with society?  It will make him more depressed!”  Yes, I said just that.  Their response?  “No, this is the best thing for him.  He cannot handle regular high school.”  With that, he was switched to the Independent program against my better judgement.  The psychiatrist that is treating him in the hospital chastised me for putting him into a program with this.  Basically asking what I was thinking, and that because he was depressed placing him in this situation just worsened it.  I let her have it with all the momma guns I have:

“You people are completely guessing at crap aren’t you?”  ” I put my child there because folks that have the SAME degree as you said it was the best for him while I argued it wasn’t!”  “You people are guessing!”

They are you know.  Mind you, they do know alot more than me.  But when it comes to my child – I’ve learned a year and a half later – I KNOW MORE!

I really ripped into that doctor.  They were saying it was the environment that was causing this.  Yeah, okay – you are right – a loving home is a horrid thing to live in.  I give up.

The doctors will always tell you that you are doing something wrong.

I ended that discussion saying that I’ve figured them out, they know nothing – they are guessing and that from now on they will listen to me.

::sigh::

They want a fight?  I’ll give them one. This is my baby – he’s struggling like there is no tomorrow and I’ll be d*mned if I allow these doctors to continue to play guessing games with my child’s life.

They get to get to the bottom line.  What is the issue?  Obviously the medication doesn’t work.  Not any of them.  They work for a bit then he crashes hard.  Argh.

Okay, I’m done venting about the docs for a moment.  But I get to go to see them tonight and I’ll be fighting again if that’s what it takes.

Now – I need to find Mary Poppins on steroids.

;)

Love and Light,

Mon

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12 Responses to “Nanny for a 16 Year Old?”

  • They totally are guessing…I guess that’s why medicine is called a ‘practice’. I would have ripped into that doc as well. You know your child better than any of them ‘with degrees’ could.

    LOL On the nanny search!! Hope you find someone good!

    Angela’s last blog post..What We’ve Been Up To.

    • Thank you Angela! I am wondering what kinda Nanny we are gonna get! LOL I’ll definitely keep ya’ll posted – this is gonna be an interesting ride to be sure!

  • Doctor’s absolutely do not know everything. I’ve learned that lately too. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing when you realize that doctor’s don’t know everything, afterall, they’re the ones that are supposed to fix the medical stuff, they’re supposed to fix the things that we cannot. They’re human and we can forgive them for that, but I think you’re right, they should definately listen to the moms. We know things that nobody else does, that’s why we’re special!!

    Penny’s last blog post..I wasn’t too sure about Facebook until….

    • That’s right Penny! We are special! And we know the workings of our kids… at least we should be advised and not told what to do. Goodness Gracious! It is funny though, when the light bulb went off in my head and I realized they are guessing (okay, albiet an educated guess) it felt like the floor fell out from under me. But, hey… momma’s can do extraordinary things. We’ll be just fine.

  • Tess:

    Hi Monica, I’m so sorry to hear you had to put up with all the crap the docs gave you, what’s wrong with these people? I can relate to how frustrating it can be when they’re not willing to admit to be human: meaning that at times they simply don’t have the answer or they make mistakes. I don’t understand why that seems so hard to do? In a case like this you’d expect honesty don’t you? :(

    The last thing you need from them is adding to the hard time you’re already having. Don’t give up deary, I’m sure there’s someone who IS willing to listen to you. I hope you’ll hear positive news tonight: hang in there k and hugs to you, Stephen and the rest of the family! You’ll be in my thoughts!!!

    Tess’s last blog post..Serious Disruption

    • {{{ hugs! }}} Thank you! It’s strange how they think – truly. But, I’ll be gosh darned if I let them do any harm to him. Lordy! Thank honey!!

  • I don’t think Mary Poppins was ever on steroids…still, you never know.

    Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..TWQ: Choosing Vacations

  • I hope your son gets better. I can relate to what you say about doctors not knowing much. My older brother has autism and at the time when he was little kid exhibiting autistic behavior my parents didn’t know what it was so they brought him to see doctors who turned around and blamed my parents for the way he was. It was during a time period where not many people had heard of autism yet so not many doctors knew what they were seeing.

    Sapphire’s last blog post..To Facebook or to not Facebook that is the question

    • Hi Sapphire! Good to *see* you!

      I’ve heard alot of stories about how autism was blamed on the parents. The more they know now the better. However, it’s still not alot. I cannot imagine being a parent of an autistic child – knowing there is an issue, but that the child is wonderful – then hearing form docs, and other parents that you are at fault. It is a horrid thing, I can only imagine. :(

      I love doctors – meaning, I do appreciate everything they do and know. However, I also believe they get to realize they are human and sometimes the parents do actually know something. It’s a fight. That’s what it feels like at least.

      {{{ Hugs }}} Thank you for sharing that. ;)

  • Just curious, who did your comment template? Is it a plugin???? I need a new comment template.

    Penny’s last blog post..The #1 song when…

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