Called the Dad
Kenny and Jimmy December 1990
The Dad.
My ex-husband.
They call him the “Biological Dad”. To my kids, “Dad” is Daniel. BUT – for my other son, James – he’s accepting his Dad more and more. Which is good. Good for my son. He still looks to Daniel as the Dad though. He looks up to him quite a bit. He’s letting go of hard feelings for his father though, and genuinely seems to be forgiving him now.
We’ve been through alot, to say the least. He left us when the kids were so little. He went through a rough time, and we didn’t see him for years. Now, however – he’s doing good, working and paying child support and calling the boys to see how they are. There are a few hard feelings from the kids, but they’ll deal with that as they grow older. Me? Well, I forgave him along time ago and just realized he is who he is. No reason to hold a grudge.
I did take care of the kids for 10 years all by myself. Not really any child support, or emotional support from the dad at all. But, hey – I did it and I’m proud.
So Stephen is in the hospital and I thought I’d call him and let him know.
He’s got alot of guilt surrounding the kids, and leaving etc. So when he heard his son is in trouble again he got very emotional. I’m assuming he blames everything on himself. Maybe someday he’ll let that go someday or just face what has happened and get over it.
Trouble is, he wants to visit Stephen – and I don’t know Stephen is going to want to see him. Breaks my heart actually. For both of them.
We’ll see what happens. I’m not sure it’s good for him right now to see his dad. But, we’ll see…
So, the call went well. I’m just not so sure about the future of it.
Okay – NEXT ISSUE!
… I’m getting so tired …
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Hope everything turns out ok!
Thanks Chelle.
I’m not making excuses for the man, believe me, but I think for men like that, it’s just easier for them to be around older children. I know my father was absent until recently in my life. He came and got me SOMETIMES on his weekends but then never had time for me when I was there. But now that I’m an adult he calls and stuff. And he was NEVER at all involved in my brothers life (we have diff mothers) until last year when he turned 18. Maybe he will do better with your son now that he’s older.
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Actually, I have to say – he was an absolutely awesome daddy when they were little. In this case, I think guilt over took him. Drugs as well. He’s off the drugs now and working. I think the guilt is subsiding. But, you never know.
It’s tough to assume what he’s doin. It will all work out. 
Thank you for the info!!! 
Awe sometimes a mother knows best and I bet that had to be a most difficult call for you to make. Wow, I just could not imagine being in your shoes. For my children, my hubby is their “dad”, their biological father walked out over 14 years ago, no calls, no support, no nothing….so its good to see that your ex is trying..I am sure he feels some guilt….and that he feels bad….because of some mistakes he has made….tough situation….. your am amazing mom! Hoping you had a good day today and you have a good day tomorrow at work…..and that your son continues to do better with each passing day. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!!
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I talked to him just a few mins ago. He’s asking for Subway sandwiches and snickers bars. LOL
Hmmmm….
At least that’s the same!
Thats really tough. My husband sort of had a similar situation. Dad left when he and his sister were very small, was in and out of rehab, never paid a dime to his mom…His mom never remarried, so they never had a dad. My father is “dad” to my husband now. His dad recently got back in touch with him and is clean for the first time ever. It is really weird and on one hand he is glad to have him in his life and in the other, well…its just strange and awkward.
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Josie: I can only imagine what all of this turns out for the adult.
It’s so prevelent it seems. I hope it all goes well, and it turns out wonderful for everyone involved. 
{{{ hugs }}}
One of these awkward situations.
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Naw, it was okay.
I’m so sorry to hear what you and your son are going through. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
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Thanks! Getting better each day…
Wish I could send him some Snickers bars… I would…
Hope things work out between them!
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Thank you so much Tess! I do too…. and he’d love you for the snicker’s bar. I’m gonna let him know you said so..
I was wondering how was your son.
Looks like you are caught in the middle of a lot of feelings, all perfectly understandable: you ex husband´s, your son´s… not an easy part for you.
Hpe everything turns out alright. It will.
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He’s good! He’s home now… we are watching it day by day. Oy!
It’s turning out well so far!! Thank you!