High School Is a Bit Different Now

This is a bit of a rant, a bit of praise and a bit of frustration.  You see I have four children.  One, is living with his mother, he’s my step-child and I do only what a step-mother does – I love him and offer assistance when requested.  The other three are my responsibility.  One of which is 19 and in college and working.  Her father is taking care of that end – paying for college.  She doesn’t live with me.  So that narrows it to 2 I’m directly responsible for education wise.

My children – up until this year – have been enrolled in the normal public school system.  James is a senior (leaving to serve our great country as a Marine in June 2009), and the other is Stephen a junior in high school.  That’s 11th and 12th grade students in a public NORMAL California high school.  That is the number one issue – public school.

Now I hear many say the school systems are great.  Normally those are the parents of kids that are in elementary school.  By the time they hit junior high, I don’t seem to hear that much more.  Because, they (our California public schools) are not great.  Not in my opinion – and not the schools I’ve personally had any connection to.  They are overcrowded, understaffed, under budgeted… just plain under everything.

Let me make one thing clear – teachers as a whole are NOT in my category of issues.  These folks work for our children with what seems like all odds against them.  I would not begin to put them down.

James, my 12th grader – has exited out of normal high school this year and is in what is called an “Independent High School” program.  This means he meets with a teacher once a week and gets work handed to him and he has one week to complete it.  Or not.  This is an independent program.  If you don’t do the work, you are out.  Period.  So James, who didn’t do a BIT of work in the past two years, now is fully in charge of himself to learn what is needed and turn in his work.  Here starts one issue.  If he didn’t do the work before, how would he now?

I didn’t get involved in the kids schooling much.  I know, say what you must – but I didn’t.  Single mom, three kids – I was lucky to be home on time to pick them up from daycare let alone oversee hours of homework.  I would pick them up, get home and continue to work from home.  So not much guidance if any from me.

Now, James has to makeup a years worth of work – plus his senior work.  Again, this is a child that didn’t do anything in school to begin with!  Now, he’s having to double his work.  Hmmmm.

As of two weeks ago I was starting to get calls from his teacher – “James is doing poorly, he’s behind… etc. etc. etc.”.  Funny, his report card just came in with a B+ average.  So what happened?  He went back to how he normally does stuff.  He just doesn’t do it.

Well, I finally took charge.  Why now you ask?  After years of not doing a thing?  Because it’s all he’s got.  If he doesn’t graduate his military entry will be postponed.  Then, as usual – he’d fall down on himself and feel poorly and get himself even further behind.  I know my son.

Today, he met with his teacher for the normal one hour and turned in his work.  He’s got a TON left to do before next Friday’s meeting as I’m getting him caught back up and back on track.

Basically, he’s home schooled.  Not entirely, but that’s what it boils down to.  The plus side is… he’s home schooled.  No more gangs, no more girls, no more teachers screaming (yes, it’s happened).  But he’s got a long way to go this week to get back on track.

Now, enter my other child – Stephen.  He is bi-polar, rages at times, and is generally a to-himself kinda kid.  According to his doctors the last two hospitalizations were due to stress at school (bullies, deadlines etc.) and they have recommended he get out of the normal public schools as there is really no adults there to manage bullies – which is his biggest issue.  Great.  So Stephen is going to the same Independent program now as Jim.

That’s two at home doing schooling.

I work.

We can do this.

Who do I blame?  No one.  To have the kids out of the public regular high school is a huge plus to me.  The amount of drama, fights and lack of guidance only lays way to issues.  Many issues as our family has had to go through since junior high school.

The issue I see with my younger one is – if it was up to him, he’d stay away from any social type situations forever.  He’s not a people person.  Well, he’s not a mean people person and at their ages there are a lot of those.

I don’t know folks… James will be okay now that I have a handle on things, but Stephen?  How do I assist a depressed bi-polar child by keeping him at home?  I think I’m going to go onto the home schooling sites and see what kind of things we can do to get him out of the house.  I can’t believe his doctors think this will be beneficial to him in the long run.  Honestly.

High school is different now.  Much different.

I praise anyone who home schools – at least I know and understand why they don’t want them in the public school system.  It’s a genuine failure in so many ways.  I feel like somewhere with all of the “universal healthcare” and “my company is flopping bail us out” crud – we seem to have completely forgotten the children.  Our future is the kids and they are going to colleges in spite of what they’ve learned in high school – not because of it in many cases.

If you know of any good sites for home schooling, please leave them in the comments.  Stephen could certainly use it!

Thanks for listening/reading to my vent.

Love and Light,

A Momma

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22 Responses to “High School Is a Bit Different Now”

  • High school is hard. I’m so glad I’m all done with that. My friends and I went to see High School Musical 3 last week and that’s certainly not realistic either. Six different kids, all enthusiastic about school, none pregnant or doing drugs or cussing or driving any of the teachers crazy? Ya right! Kids have so much crap to worry about, in addition to learning their lessons. Good thing your son has a mama who loves him…strong family support is paramount in survival!

  • It must be difficult, Monica, although there must be some people with similasr experiences somewhere.

  • Monica,
    High School is MUCH different now. Your post was very honest, and you are facing the difficulties head on. I wish I knew a way to help, but all I can do is offer empathy and cyber-hugs and best wishes that James catches up on his work and maybe there is a hormone or safe medication that will assist James’ moods in leveling out so it is easier for him.

    Loving Annies last blog post..Big 3 Automakers Failing…

  • @Akirah: Thanks so much for commenting with your thoughts! Kids have alot to worry about for sure! With girls it’s one thing, with boys another. I’m amazed they make it out of there with their heads in one piece. ;) It hardens alot of kids for sure. Hugs and thank you for commenting. I’ll do the same for you.

  • @Jean-Luc Picard: Hiya Jean-Luc! Love the Cylon-Borg storyline! ;) I figured I would put this info up just to see if someone has some home school type of assistance. ;)

    @Annie: Hiya honey! Stephen is on quite a few meds, and they seem to be holding their own. James is the one that’s gotta pick it up and get his stuff done. He’s doing well with me over him, that’s a plus. I just hope that Stephen will find something of interest. I was thinking he and I could do some volunteer work – maybe get him engaged that way. Thanks for the cyber hug! They are the bestest! ;)

  • Can he enroll in some sort of job skills training in conjunction with the high school program? That way, he will get some socializing and find out what he wants to do in life…and gain confidence in himself for learning new skills that can help land him a job in the future.

    I am facing the same sort of issues with my son…he starts high school next year and I can’t see him just being there and getting shuffled from class to class and dealing with even more social issues (there are enough of them now in middle school)…ugh. The whole thing makes me sick.

    I really wish the American school system would take on the European model and end at 8th grade and then they start college or trade school….there is no 4 years of high school and then 4 more years of college or whatever. I mean, they are adults at 18 and really what does our public education get them ready to do by 18? Pretty scary.

    Bella

  • Gosh, I really sympathize with your plight. I’ve homeschooled my kids since their early years, but I’ve never had to work on top of it. I give you a lot of credit.

    I don’t see HOW people can do it without being part of a group with others. You just really need the support and advice. My church is the hub of our school, so I recommend a church because they have that self-discipline mentality built-in. Also of help might be a LEAH organization. Leah.org. You can search them and see if there is a group in your area.

    God bless you and I wish you and your kids good success.

    Mrs. Mecombers last blog post..Pen Pals for Our Modern Age

  • @Bella Casa: Great thought on the job training skills. I was juggling with that in my mind. I’m going to see if I can get a release from the school to allow him to go to the local jr. college. He has some ideas on what he’d like in the future – and to get him into a class or something with those that are of the same interests would be good!

    I’m sorry you are facing those issues… it’s been a rough road since 5th grade really. Since we moved to this house. Moving is tough enough, but for him… I don’t think he ever fully integrated.

    The European model sounds very interesting. I do get – as you – that what we have isn’t working. What would it take to change it?

    Home Schooling has gotten very large – and it’s taken on a life of it’s own. The kids locally that are home schooled are social together. Seems they are mostly younger although I’m going to look into it to see if there is somewhere we can connect.

    It’s good our kids have us… they have a foundation of love, it’s all they know to turn to when the world is difficult. But we are raising them to become adults – I just want to be sure what I do now will assist him as an adult.

    Hugs Bella – thank you so much for your insight. I do hope your little guy gets out of the rough patches!

  • Hi again. I re-checked LEAH and it’s only for New York. Sorry. :( But there’s this site– hsdla.org. They are the biggest homeschooling organization in the US and will have stuff for you about California. I really hope this helps!

    Mrs. Mecombers last blog post..Pen Pals for Our Modern Age

  • @Mrs. Mecomber: You are awesome! Thank you!! :) I’ll give it a check!

  • I dropped out of high school at 16, I am bi-polar so I understand now why dropping out made so much sense to me at the time, I went to work and learned how to support myself at 16 but you know I also remember taking ROP classes – here’s a link: http://www.cccoe.k12.ca.us/stsvcs/rop.html.

    The more and more I hear about public schools in california, I don’t think when I have kids they will be going to any, they will probably be home schooled or put in private schools.

  • @Julie: There are alot of kids not making it through high school and going directly into the work scene. You are a prime example of someone doing just fine. You own your own house and business – you’ve done well Julie. Very well. I’m amazed I made it out with a diploma! ;) Hugs! Thanks for the link too!

  • I don’t know much about home schooling.Although, I do know tons about all that lacks in the public school system,having three kids going through them now myself. I think it’s horrible, we as a country don’t invest more into education.

    As for extracurricular activities for your baby,I say try to find something he’s interested in whether it be art,writing,whatever it may be and see if anyone offers small classes to learn outside of school.

    I wish you all tons of luck!!

    thinkinfyous last blog post..Dirty Memories

  • Zhu:

    The US and Canadian high school systems are quite a mystery to me. It is so confusing!

    I may speak as a French, but I think kids are given way too much academic freedom in the last few years of high school, when they should be helped by teachers and the school system.

    My neighbor has a 17 years old who is a really nice kid, but he is struggling to graduate because he needs help in some subject and well, school finishes at 2pm and he is left alone with homework. Weird.

    France may be too strict, but in high school, we have a national exam every year and it is tough. We used to go to school from 8am to 5 or 6pm every day, including Saturday.

    Zhus last blog post..Only In France…

  • I sympathize with your situation. Here in Canada, some schools offer a mentoring program which seems to work great for kids having problems at school.

    With the education system the way it is today, it’s not surprising that a lot of parents go for homeschooling. With overcrowded classrooms it’s hard for kids who need that extra attention to get it.

    The only “problem” I have with homeschooling is that a major part of growing up involves socializing with others.

    Robins last blog post..Memory Lane

  • @thinkinfyou: What grades are your little ones in? Yes, it is horrid we don’t invest more… ofcourse, our taxes are supposed to go there, but – seems everything else lately is important to the gov’t. They need to get off their butts! Thanks for the wish of luck!

  • @Zhu: I hear what you say about too strict, but I agree with you on the need for more schooling. I personally like your system… ;) And yes, they are given too much freedom in high school. It feels like, here, they are pushing them out with the minimum amount of work. :(

  • @Robin: I agree with the concern – that was mine as well. The more I’m reading, the more I’m finding that is something home schooling takes into account for and seems to resolve – at least around here. The groups meet up together and go on “field trips”. Meaningful field trips as I’ve seen in the boards… if I can hook up with a local one, that might be beneficial!

  • I’ve got one who’s a senior,a 7th grader,and a 5th grader. I feel like I’ve had to fight for their education myself through the years.

    thinkinfyous last blog post..Dirty Memories

  • @thinkinfyou: You are right on with the “I’ve had to fight for their education myself”. I wish I would have started sooner…

  • I think it is awesome that you are helping them and supporting them through this :)

    chelles last blog post..What a Weekend!

  • @chelle: I keep thinkin’ – It’s about time. And, “wish I would have done this sooner”, but the past is the past.

    Thanks hon… totally appreciate you!

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