I’m 40, and I don’t feel old. Old would be 90 perhaps. Not 40.
I smoke, have for a long time. Disgusting, I know. But I smoke.
On Friday, a first happened for me. I was called “The Mean Ugly Old White Lady” by 3 children and their father.
Here’s how that went.
I was standing in a handicap parking lot space outside of the hotel (the Friday night fun night!) instructing my hubby on where the night of mystery was gonna be and what to do when he got there. (It was a blow your socks off night! Well planned out, I might add).
I was standing in the parking space because I was outside of the hotel having a cigarrette chatting on the phone. If I smoke, I do it more than 20 feet from the door, in California there are laws on where to smoke. I understand and abide by them happily.
After my phone call I looked up and noticed a Mercedes Benz with it’s blinkers on clearly waiting for me to move out of the space their were trying to pull into!
Ooops!
I hurry out of the way and made sure I was quite a bit away from the car.
Out popped three little kids with their hands over their faces. I didn’t notice as I was yelling at the dad “Goodness, I’m sorry. I completely zoned!”. Smiling my usual smile and waving at him in apology.
Things happened a bit quick from there.
He said: Yeah, well we are more concerned about your smoking.
Me: My what? (not sure if I heard him right, I’m quite a bit aways from them)
He said: Hurry kids, get away from her and run to the door! (not kidding here, he sounded like I had a gun)
Me: Um…. (remember, I’m pretty far from them and they are entering a hotel with smoking rooms ~ so they aren’t getting to safety runnin’ inside of there!)
He said: Cover your face kids!
Me: Okaaaaay (I backed up even further, although the smoke was going the opposite direction of them – all I could do is watch while the kids covered their faces, but stuck their tongues out at me yelling “gross” “she’s gross” “daddy hurry up!”)
He said: Yeah well (turning to me) they teach them this in school (almost, although not quite, apologetically)
He brought the kids inside after they gave me dirty looks and he just laughed and encouraged them to look at the gross smoking lady.
I was dumbfounded.
Not at the fear of smoke, although – that’s a bit over the top. But I get that, if they don’t like it now maybe they won’t pick up the filthy habit.
But at the fact a parent did not reprimand their child for treating a human, a perfect stranger, like dirt. I’ve seen it happen around me and it disgusts me. But to really pay attention to the little ones that night, it hurt my heart that beautiful souls are being taught at such a young age that being mean to someone is okay and simply part of your day. That left me in disbelief at the door. It’s only the beginning for these little ones I’m afraid.
As I walked upstairs thanking myself for raising children that don’t see race, physical limitations, or anything out of their norm as something they use against people – I heard the family through the door and stopped for a moment just outside.
The kids were telling their mum I suppose of the event. But what I heard was this:
The dad was agreeing “yup!” after everything each of the kids were saying. The mum was saying “I should go down there and kick her butt (different word used).”
The children were telling a tale of a “Mean. Ugly Old White Lady downstairs smoking at the door and not letting them in. She was blowing smoke at these poor little kids. This Mean Ugly Old White Lady was giving them dirty looks and threatening them.”
Oh. My. Gosh.
She promptly said she was calling the manager and complaining about the Mean Ugly Old White Lady and the kids were happy and yelling “yeah!”.
The father never corrected their story. He laughed and described how ugly I was. I’m not joking.
I’m left with being the Mean Ugly Old White Lady at the Holiday Inn Express.
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I’ll put you down as a nice lady who met a ‘mean ugly old family’.
Poor you!
Aw man! That’s AWFUL! I don’t like cigarette smoke one bit, but to treat a human like they are dirt is sad.
Smoking has become the new “sin,” yet sorry to say, schoolkids are taught how to fornicate like dogs and swear like sailors and parents seem to think that’s A-OK.
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Oh my gosh! That is totally shocking!! I am more or less speachless. How can they support and encourage children behaving in that way. What about respecting adults, like you said one can understand others not appreciating cigarette smoke, but using ‘ugly old white’ what is that all about??? And yes the reaction to smoking is over the top. Rudest thing I have heard in ages!!!
That is horrific! I mean I can hardly believe the things they said! I am so sorry!
I think that toxic parenting is going to do a lot more damage to these children, than a whiff of second hand smoke. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
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I was shocked that the things were said, but more saddened as are you, but the fact that they were allowed and seemingly encouraged to feel such meanness in their hearts for another human being.
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Being myself which I am 99.9% of the time I would have opened up a big can of whoop ass on dad,and then told his kids that’s what you get when you run your mouth.
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That Dad is teaching his kids to grow up to be total morons! I feel sorry for his children for their father to provide them with bad parenting like that. Our world is becoming too politically correct, it’s crazy. Sorry you had to put up with them like that.
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You are so nice… and patient! Cause see… well, I won’t even say what I would have done. lol.
Moniques last blog post..Paging Dr. Monique
That is terrible! I hold the dad responsible and he is the ugly duckling as far as I am concerned! Smokers’ rights have been dwindling for a while now even tho its their choice! But to be treated as sub human is ridiculous! Hang in there nice lady!!!!!
Children learn from their parents. It’s a parent’s responsibility to be an example to their children. So much for the example these kids are getting.
Holy shit. Excuse my English but that is horrid. What rotten humans. The parents are the worse. They are teaching their little offspring to have hate for another being. That is just going to far. I am so very sorry that someone treated you that way. I feel like crying. Hopefully someday mankind will evolve and show a global love for each other. This “we” against “they” thinking is not cutting it.
((((((((Big hugs))))))
ohh, dear. I’m one of those mean old ugly white ladies too. What I’m not clear on is if they were parked in the handicapped spot? Did they have a permit? and if they didn’t I would have called the police just to give them a real excuse to be calling me names.
Smokers and Fat People. The prejudice that is fashionable now days.
Have you seen Billy Connelly’s bit about smoking? You can find it on youtube. It is of course full of four letter words but, he hit’s the nail on the head.
I have mixed feelings about this story. I mean, on one hand, I’m glad to see little kids disgusted by smoking. My mom’s health has been ravaged by a lifetime of addiction — cancer, heart disease, lung problems, everything you hear of, she’s had it — and I don’t understand how kids today can know all the risks and still pick up the habit. However, there’s much wisdom in “hate the sin, love the sinner.” Most people who smoke, especially over a certain age, aren’t doing it because they enjoy it. Vilifying them isn’t going to help anything. It’s great that the kids may not grow up to be smokers; it’s just a shame it looks like they may grow up to be assholes, instead.
Wow, I posted and ran and got a ton of comments on this one! Thank you all so much for coming to my *rescue* so to speak. I sure know the crowd I *roll* with.
You are all wonderful ~ group hug! Well, I smell of smoke… but I have a big heart and I hug well.
I can tell you all ~ it didn’t effect me personally. Only that I felt alot of sadness for the kids. Also for the parents because they were okay with it all. I wouldn’t want to live in a world like that.
When are we gonna become more aware of things…
OH ~ The disability space question – they did have a tag. Maybe it was the mom that was disabled? He didn’t seem to have an issue. Dunno.
I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, but I hate liars worse. Those kids were totally out of line, and their father was just as bad.
@Loving Annie: Hugs Annie
How awful! It just makes me so sad to hear stories of parents who set bad examples for their kids. This is truly sad, and I’m sorry you had to be a part of it!
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I wish I smoked just so I could blow it in the face of that family.
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What incredibly rude children! Their parents should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves, not only do they condone rudeness, but they also advocate lying and violence.
I suppose you could look on the bright side – it’s mum and dad who are going to have to deal with the repercussions once their ‘delightful’ offspring become teenagers.
@Athena: It is really sad…
I’m glad it was me and not someone who would have done something different. I just had a dumbfounded look the whole time.
@StanHayes: Well, I’m thinking if they do that to someone else sometime it might not turn out very well. They should be careful… some folks do get pretty angry over things like that. That was another thought I had…. glad they didn’t get someone in an angry stage that night.
But they got me, and I’m a bit passive when it comes to kiddies. 
@Kate: I’m hoping the kids get some outside instruction… maybe grandma, teacher etc. Or maybe the parents will snap outta it. Trouble is… the kids only follow what they see.
Well, I give you a ton of credit, because I certainly would have said something if only to correct the parenting mistakes being made.
Smoking is no excuse for rude!
I was going to say that I was torn on the matter but as soon as I started typing out my explanation, I got it (I’m a bit slow today apparently). While I think it’s great that the kids will stay away from smoking while they’re still niave and vulnerable; they shouldn’t ever think it’s ok to run away from someone just beause they smoke. If you were coming after them with poisoned apples and forcing them to eat them, I could understand. Maybe. Sounds like the farther himself doesn’t know any better… and it’s the saddest thing. I think more than half of the parents in this world were never ready to be parents and it’s made situations like this become possible.
I think you handled it very well, Mon. And don’t worry, I still like you even though you smoke ;P
Kate hit the nail right on the head with what she said here. I drove a school bus for 15 years, and what you just described, doesn’t really shock me at all. And those types of parents will always blame the problem on everyone around them, their friends, the school, everyone except them.
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Being from the South, all I can say about this rude family is, “Wow.”
@Kat: It’s interesting – no words could come to my lips. Not often speechless, but this time – completely!
OMG!!
this is really horrible!!
i really blame parents as those .. and it will be awful when the children get older and make serious fun of people!! with encouriging out of there parents!!
and i’m really shocked and disgust of how humens treat each other,, instead of love and peace ,, this is really the most disgusting thing in the world!! how rude we can get!!
and more shocking is how they discibed you!!
all lies!!!! hope thier parents will pay all this back really son!!!
My hope is that the little guys grow up to realize it’s best to just be good to eachother ya know? Not sure what’s up with the parents… but hey, to each is own. It was pretty strange experience!
Thanks Hadeel!
@fragileheart: Thank you for liking me still!
Smokers need love too.
@Breezie: It’s interesting I always wonder how school bus driver’s can handle all of that. I’m amazed at the stories my kids have given about their bus rides. Ofcourse mine say they were perfect angels (they BETTER be) but who knows! The whole situation was sad to me.
@PaulsHealthBlog: Wow is a good word!