Children
I have four children. At times, each has had hard times. Each time those times come, I’m a momma and I assist in whatever way I can. I do this with love.
I have a child right now that is struggling at an important transitional part of his life. Because of this, I’m worried… sad… frightened… and above all, my love for him doesn’t fade or flicker one bit. I stand by him pointing to the direction *I* think would be best for him. Sometimes he looks to me and follows where I point, other times… he drifts off, searching for the direction himself.
I have been taught, and generally know, our lives are a learning experience. Those experiences at times, are difficult. However, the experiences we go through are truly our own. His life and his learning is his own. I know this. It is still difficult watching choices being made that I know will have him struggling (in my own opinion) – uneccessarily. Again, it’s truly not mine to judge – only to continue to stand steadfast and point in the direction I know will be *easier* for him.
It’s a struggle within myself. Sometimes I feel like *yanking* him in the direction I’m pointing. But then, my understanding of life lessons come into play.
There are people that continuously tell me what I am doing seems like I don’t care. I don’t respond to him as they believe I should. Advice from others are streamed in a steady wave at times. I do listen, but I always end up going with what I *feel* is perfect at the time. I run very much from inner knowing, and unconditional love. So many people – so many "you aren’t hard enough", "you should just give up", "I can’t believe you’ve let it get this far."
Luckilly, it’s not drugs. But it is very important… he’s failing in school. He just gives up on himself. Where did he learn that? Hmmmm…. I think I know. I could do the "wish I woulda" or "wish I didn’t", but why? I’m doing what I believe to be perfect for him now. He’s almost an adult – what else can I do but respond with love, guidance and a certain amount of pressure?
I guess I’m tired of hearing the things others keep saying I’m doing wrong. I’m tired of the negativity he gets from others. It just seems to make him give up. He’ll learn, in the meantime I will do as I know how. Love him like the momma I am, and pray he hears me when I say he’s perfect.
Love and Light,
~Mon~
(all photos are from photobucket.com)
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Hi Monica,
I’m sorry to hear the two of you are going through this! But I honestly thing you are doing the right thing. Trust your gut feeling.
My dad passed away in 2002 [cancer] but because he always showed me his unconditional love no matter what choices I made [yes wrong ones too!]. We had an amazing strong bond; it is still there… He has given me the most beautiful memory a parent could give.
You know deep down what is best, don’t doubt yourself, just be you and let him know you’ll be there for him when he realises he made a not so good choice… Be his balance…
It’s so easy for others to be judgmental while this isn’t about right or wrong, it’s about giving someone the freedom to grow.
Hugs to both of you!
going with what you feel is the best way you can be a momma, kind of struck me as very you and the way I choose plants and flowers, they spoke to me, just the way your heart and soul speaks to you (if that makes any sense)
Hi Mon,
)
I haven’t seen you in awhile. So sorry to hear you are going through some rough times. Though they separate a mother and child at the day of birth they in fact never sever that spiritual bond. I will not get into it but my son is going through a rough patch too. He is an adult now and all I can do is give advice. It is hard to sit back and know they are making the wrong decisions. Now I know what my mother felt like!
Take care and my thoughts are with you.
Take care.
T.
Tess ~ Your words made me feel SO good, thank you thank you thank you! I feel more at ease… much more.
Hugs honey, and thank you!
Mon
Julie ~ That totally makes sense, I am completely trusting myself at the momento. I’m basically staying away from the ney sayers, although I love them mucho… it’s now what I choose to hear right now.
Hugs!
Mon
Hello T!
So good to hear from you, I have been a bit under a rock ’cause of all of this. The kids are on Spring break right now… so I’ve been enjoying the time with them.
I’m sorry to hear about your "little" one as well, I suppose it’s what we get to go through as parents, but WOW it is sure tough to watch when they are gonna fall, or what we perceive as falling.
Hugs honey, I treasure you.
Monica
I’m going through trials and tribulations with the youngest of my girls now. She’s 17 going on 25 and she knows it all (if you know what I mean).
Now that I’m grown up, I know what I’d do if I were in her shoes. But she sees things the way a teenage girl sees things, not the way a mom who was a teenage girl in the past sees them.
Lots of love to all of ya!
Hi Diva ~ I have a 19 year old daughter, and it was a rough road there at 17. She’s beautiful, happy, and doing well now… but WOW girls can be tough. Hang in there honey, I know it can be so tough…
Lots of Love to you too!!
Mon
My son is really struggling in school right now, too. And it’s not because he doesn’t understand or isn’t smart enough. It’s because he forgets to turn things in and isn’t organized. I’ve done lots of shouting, grounding and punishing, and I just told him he gets no birthday party if he gets a D in English. The term ends this Friday, and I’m just so relieved to be having it OVER (as I’m sure he is, too). It’s too late to save this terms grade, but I’m hoping for a better outcome next term.
Just keep on loving him. and I’ll do the same.
So sorry to hear that Monica. If those around are spreading negativity, they do not help him. He needs to be surrounded by positivity.
Hi Paige:
That’s exactly my guy’s issue. I have one child with ADHD (my step son) and he struggles so much, then I have my guy that is quite smart, doesn’t have any issues, but isn’t putting his best – or much into things at all! I feel like beating my head!
I’ve done all the taking away, and it only pushed him further "inwards" I suppose. Good luck Paige! We’ll just keep being their "balance" as Tess said… meantime, I’m glad I don’t drink.
Love and Light dear Paige,
Monica
Jean-Luc:
I’m with you on the Positivity. I respect others views and opinions and have learned from things others have suggested. But fer cryin’ out loud! I can only take so much, so I’ve basically shut off the negative stuff. Too much!
Hugs Jean-Luc,
Mon